4 better or worse?

This is something I often wonder when I’m stuck at home and not allowed 2 go on Since my computer has slowed down considerably since I started going there almost non-stop last semester… there might be some reason to the computer going “computer blue” on us.

Anyway, I was thinking about how I get swept up in the excitement and possibly its the reason why I believe there are some other “feelings” I have for Prince. I’m a completely different person around his albums when I’m there and when I’m not. When I’m on my own, it feels like a blessing because I can think whatever I want to and not be subjected to backlash or have to worry about what the others think. I love telling others what I think about his music, but when it gets beyond that… I get swept up in something that not only gets me into trouble with others… but I don’t know… I don’t like the person I become sometimes when I’m on that site. Makes me sound like I’m hooked on Prince… and I should mark my “fan level” as Obsessed… I’m more than enthusiastic and more than casual (that’s what I used 2b)… I don’t want to own everything, so I’m not hardcore… can’t there be a category that’s for “normal” supporters of Prince?

Not that being a supporter of Prince has ever been normal. Since I welcomed him into my life, I think it’s been turned upside down several times. When his name comes up, I wonder why. 90% of the time, it’s NEVER a good thing. It’s always about how the media portays him. I think if I had the media after me the same way as him, people would think I was… not normal. I guess is the best description for it. I’ve always said that Prince really is one of the most normal among us, he just says whatever he thinks and doesn’t care about the consequences.

I might have dreamt about him last night, actually. Very vividly in fact… like I was watching archive footage… a little unusual in places, though. But when he was singing, he did seem very normal, like any other person, but with passion and enthusiasm like few others have the courage to show. I want to say he was like Christopher Tracy… but how he was dressed went backwards. It started from Parade era, then it was the “Little Red Corvette” video and then it was like the purple suit wasn’t complete… and he was left with the suit he wore in the Controversy videos… then at the end, I saw his insecurities come alive. I just don’t want to describe where he was and how he appeared… out of respect for his privacy.

When I write about Prince, I write what I feel. I write what I see in him and what he could be about underneath the music and that gentle smile. I could be doing good or bad about reading so deeply into his behavior with some of the personal things I write about him. It’s not as if I’m writing ABOUT him, but I’m trying to figure out, at the same time, what he’s about. Everything’s based on some things about him, both that have happened, or things that I see him being capable of. I still say that it’s not “fan”-fiction… not just cuz of the “fan” prefix… in the end, the person is never him. I’d shudder at the thought if I was really writing about him… I couldn’t because I don’t know him. Joshua Isaiah Prince is a mix of personalities I believe the true article has and my opinions of him. I always try to show him in the best light as much as I can, but sometimes, drama gets in the way. I have to twist things around so it’ll work for the storyline.

I mean no offence, Prince. I promise this isn’t a parody because this isn’t making fun, it’s sincere and always trying to show you in the best, most flattering light. I hope that you do take the saying “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” because that’s what I’ve done in my writing. I hope you can forgive me if I go too far out of my way to make a good story.

I was listening to “Planet Earth” last night, but from Guitar to the first song, just to see what it’d be like. I’ve learned that “Guitar” is outshined by pretty much every track in the album. Could be cuz I’m coming off of SOTT… but it might just be a pop song with nothing special. I was looking for inspiration from some of the tracks and I’ve found a bunch of songs and what I can do with them. I like the person Prince is in the album. I like seeing him as he is now. It insures me that he is doing well musically and spiritually. Thoughts of “romance” have come to mind when I listen to certain songs… one of them was enough to inspire the piece I’m working on now. I got so many ideas from it and I can just take each line and work it into the story as it progresses. Some of the songs just don’t fit into the storyline. It’s come to my attention that “Somewhere here on Earth” all the way to “All the midnights” really is its own storyline… or as some like to put it “Prince’s own personal ad”… he’s ready to find “The One” and settle down and start a family. This time, I hope it’ll be forever.

All of the “feeling” of “romance” were gone. Probably because of the detox after SOTT… but it could be being free of… I don’t get swept up in the excitement of the other 1,000’s of girls “in love” with him… and I’m free to think of him how I please. I just see a musician and a person I’d very much like to be happy.

I’ll keep writing and start posting chapters again as soon as I can.

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