“What I can’t find, I’ll make myself”

Found yet another reason to say that as a supporter of Prince. It’s ridiculous sometimes with the lack of merchandise they have on him. And I’m not just talking albums here.
If worse comes to worse (like if a [few] year[s] pass/passes), I can always ask someone to burn me a copy of Emancipation. That’s just something I really don’t want to do. Lovesexy, I’ve already requested, but haven’t gotten a notice back from my “benefactor”. She’ll send it to my school mailbox anyways. I already have 4 albums on CD-R’s as it is. At least if I get Emancipation “in the flesh,” my album collection is about 25% “fake”… its not just a matter of having an authentic collection (not all copied and given to me by old-school people)… but the packaging would be the centerpiece of my collection. It represents so much that its not even about the music anymore. To my folks, they just think its just a lot of music and the largest collection of music Prince could offer (other than Crystal Ball w/The Truth). My goal is to have this album to complete my collection and show the progression Prince has made through the years.

Back to my topic, though, I was looking for BOOKS on Prince. Books!! I’m taking this as a last resort for knowledge, of course. The only thing I came up with between a giant Borders and a small Waldenbooks is “A thief in the temple”… which I was told was a piece of junk. I didn’t even read it. I saw the cover and put it back. I was thinking of picking it back up to see if it had anything for my search of knowledge, haha. Never got around to it. And that was at the small Waldenbooks. The giant Borders, despite being GIANT had nothing. No Biography section to speak of and zillions of books on Bob Dylan, Elvis, The Beatles… anyone but Prince.

FYE has been wonderful in my quest for Prince albums for my collections. I’ve drained two of their stores bone dry. I got some wonderful stuff from the one close-by… never found any traces of Come and TGE anywhere else. Then other parts of the 90’s were scattered throughout Langhorne (and the FYE I left behind). I can’t necessarily say that the supplies have told me that I should forget being a Prince supporter since I never find anything anymore. It’s not so much as them not having stuff as much as them not replenishing their stocks. Considering the Poconos is an isolated region of NE PA, I’ll probably find little else in stores.

I’ve been looking for other kinds of merchandise, including BOOKS, a O(+> necklace and Prince tees and have come up empty. I’ve said for a while that since I can’t find any Prince tees, I gotta make my own. Only problem is that I still don’t have any I could put on them. It has to be short, sweet and to the point. Prince himself is 2 of those things already, but “to the point” is very difficult to get from him, whether its the person or the music. [Just so u know, this isn’t a crack @ ur height, Prince, I’m just stating facts].

What little I’ve seen of books cuts pretty deep. I rely so much on other supporters of Prince for knowledge about him. I’m always on the look-out for more knowledge, but for once, I’d love the chance to just lay back and read about Prince in a comfy place. Not that I’m very comfy at my computer chair (the computer just hurts my eyes after a long period).
So I thought to myself on my way out of the Giant Borders “they don’t have anything on Prince, I’m better off writing my own book on him.”

It’s an idea I’ve been considering for a while, but I really haven’t done anything with it. I’ve got so many blog entries as it is. 8 months after starting it, I have over a 100 blog entries. I’m not short on material, so that’s not a problem. I think it’s a matter of two things.
1) What do I want this book to be about? What issues should it touch on? Is it a biography or a group of editorials on different albums?
2) How am I going to arrange everything I wrote and make it into something people would want to read?

I feel like this is something I’m going to need a lot of help with. I’ve got the creativity and the material, but after writing the material, I’m not sure how far I can go with it. I know I should copy/paste my best ideas together when it comes to the different albums, but organization is going to be my biggest problem. So I think I’m going to need someone to help me organize things I’ve written into something interesting and at the same time, readible. Anyone who’s interested, email me @ Jb72986@aol.com

Money will be the biggest issue, of course. There’s nothing I can really do about that right now. I’ve got 6-7 works of fiction printed out and ready to go, but they might gather 100 species of dust before I can do anything with them. And my interest in them might have waned by the time I do get to them.

I wonder sometimes if its my own imagination, or if I really have some things in common with Prince with our writing styles? I start a few projects here and there, but when I don’t get inspired, I can’t do anything with them and end up deleting them with the inspiration is gone. One of my stories just suffer that same fate and it was going to be me confronting some ghosts. Another thing of his that might become mine: the past is in the past, so why worry? My attention span has declined quite a bit since becoming a supporter. I’m not sure if I’m putting too much of myself into being one or I’m doing something else wrong.

As far as my trip with “Around the world in a day” last night, I’ve felt better. It’s not so much the music. Almost like at sometimes, I felt an emptiness inside me. There was something I wasn’t doing right. The sound of “Around the world in a day” made that song seem a little odd. I heard that it was Prince’s version of a song written by Lisa’s dad… scratch that, it was inspired by his song of the same name. I was trying to figure out what he meant by the title. I pick up gongs from Asia, finger cymbals from the Middle East and the synths from America. And the song America is part of the “around the world” concept.

The album is supposedly Prince’s mental letter to the general public as well as his supporters. I think I’ve settled down a bit since the other night, but I think that unless things improve, tonight will be my last listen in a while. I’m gonna move onto Parade if the “three times the charm” saying doesn’t work for me here. There’s that short-term memory thing again. I know how I felt in the past with this album, but I can’t “feel” those same things now. The connection isn’t there. I think my past headaches and my drowsiness is completely unrelated to the whole ordeal with the album. Alls I know is that this is the last time I’m going to go from Purple Rain to this album. Takes too long for me to readjust and I’d rather not go through the trouble.

I was thinking about Paisley Park and its signifiance. Basically it becomes the namesake for his studio complex. I listened to the instrumental break towards the end and I was thinking about Prince. That’s a mix of musical chaos, but he sees the organization of it clearly. That’s what goes on inside his soul. Music brews wildly inside him and in the end, its choosing which “voices” to listen to to subdue the chaos. I know that mentally, but I can’t connect with the song musically. Just doesn’t work. “Raspberry Beret” had me wanting to dance, but the thrill wore off after a minute. Tambourine, I wasn’t feeling too much of either. America had me almost in a daze because I was trying to figure out what I was thinking. It was a very confusing time. I think I was zoning out so much that I was trying to snap myself out of it, but I don’t want to come up for air only to dive back in for a few more songs.

“Pop Life” was the first song that really made an impact on me at all. It almost felt like a few bouts I had with Come. Nothing it hit me until the very end, Letitgo. Again, I felt this emptiness inside me. Almost as if I was dead… the music wasn’t hitting me at all. I was extremely tired and I had a grueling headache. I heard the song, singing along with Wendy & Lisa and feeling the piano keys play over and over. I felt those piano keys since the first time I’ve listened to the song and with them carried a bit of sadness. I was thinking about something I recently read about the song and the last verse being directed by past proteges who have tried drugs… I think I was more comfortable with my own interpretation of that song, but I’m even forgetting that. They say its about the ups and downs of being a celebrity. I still don’t see that. I have my own definition for this song that I wrote down somewhere, but I can’t remember.

“The Ladder” is just… I’m sorry, its been boring me the past few days. I’ve done all I can with that song. “Temptation” knows how to put a smile on my face and it gets really bad sometimes when I’m even tempted to start screaming as he does. I think I even caught some lyrics in midst of the screaming that I didn’t notice before.

Odd enough, even though its the “around the world” concept, a lot of it is about Prince himself. He mentions different cities in “condition of the heart”… Raspberry “beret” is something French… trolley cars are from San Francisco… and Pop Life & The Ladder go out to everyone.

Still got a lot to learn from this particular side of him.

I woke up with the same grueling headache and it took me a few extra minutes to get up (several extra minutes). I’m still thinking about what to do next. Should I go with Controversy & this album? Should I do ATWIAD and Parade? Of course, I’ll post about how things goes.

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One Response to “What I can’t find, I’ll make myself”

  1. The only books I’ve heard are worth having are “DanceMusicSexRomance: Prince – The First Decade” by Per Nilsen; and two books from the Uptown website, The Vault and Turn It Up 2.0 … I haven’t read any of these yet; I would LOVE to, but I think the two Uptown books may be sold out and/or out-of-print.As far as your own book, I REALLY want to help! We could both work on it; in addition to being your organizer/editor, I’d like to write some of my own things and add them, if you wouldn’t mind. This sounds like the book we were born to write.

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