Lost my edge?


Last night is probably one of the worst I’ve had. Between it being too hot to sleep, knowing I should get sleep because of a couple dreams and my mind buzzing with stress, I only got maybe 5 hours of sleep.

Even after listening to the first 7 (or so) songs of my Purple Rain playlist, it still took me ages to fall asleep. Or at least it felt like ages.

The good news is that I’ll definitely have someone to go with me to see Prince when he comes by in December.
The bad news is I don’t know what’s going on with getting the tickets.

It’s been very quiet lately. Though it looks like my cousin has a couple of friends who want to tag along as well. It’s certainly nice to know I’m not the only one in my family this stir-crazy about Prince.

Though I probably put more of the crazy in “stir-crazy” than she does.
Its sad and unfortunate to say I have no life outside of this. I have a couple friends that I rarely keep in touch with and I have family. But the whole unemployment thing is really starting to get to me. Each day, it feels like the same thing. I can’t even bring myself to pick up any of the new books I bought. There’s one I’d been looking at for a while and thought I’d check it out. Something to do with being dragged into other people’s dreams and the hero(ine) sees something in one and gets involved in something huge.

The Great Gatsby I can read just about anytime I wish. I have read it before and I enjoyed it. That’s why I got it.
Then there’s “The Red Pyramid” by Rick Riodrion, the guy who wrote the Percy Jackson series. (For what I understand, he’s started a new series in the same demigod world as Percy Jackson, but its called “The Lost Heroes” series… I still need to pick that up).

The only thing I have going for me is our trip to the shorehouse not this coming weekend, but the one afterwards… and of course the trip to Australia.
I’ve fallen into a pattern and even worse, I think I’m gaining weight… something I actually wanted to lose before Australia. Wouldn’t look so good in that bikini I got specifically for this trip, would I?

To quote Regina George from Mean Girls, “I wanna lose three pounds.”
Trust me, Rachel McAdams is skinnier than I’ll ever be.
They say the correct weight for someone my weight is from 110 to 133… I do fit that range, at least the higher end of the spectrum.

We went hiking on a trail today for a mile or so, so hopefully some of the sweets I had this week started to come off a little bit.

Just the other week, I realized how sick I was of seeing Purple Rain because I nearly fell asleep several times… thanks to fatigue, I wasn’t exactly bored.

Now the music’s starting to wear on me a little bit.

More than ever, I felt like the outtake “Possessed” fit my mood perfectly last night. I can still remember the first time I heard and where I was.

My computer desk was to the left of my bed up against the wall and I was going through some Purple Rain outtakes.
You can hear the music of it in the background during the scene Morris gives Apollonia that whole speil about his “brass waterbed” and his “Italian cook– Gino Scrakagrachi”… if the instrumental of Possessed is floating around somewhere, I certainly would be interested in it.

Speaking of the speil, I got to thinking while listening through the sequence…

On the Ice Cream Castle album, there’s a track called “Chili Sauce” that’s nothing more than a conversation between Morris, his date and for the first couple minutes, a waiter at a restaurant set to music.
I’d say its a toss-up between the backwards tape Apollonia played in the movie and “God (instrumental)” that you hear during the sex scene. Though its very romantic and the atmosphere gets more intense as the scene progresses.

But in the middle of the speil, I nearly lost it when I heard Morris say the lines from the movie, although his Italian cook was called Jerome Srakagrachi, lol

It appears to me that some of the lines in Chili Sauce and track 5 “If the kid can’t make you come” were from the original Purple Rain script… because I read the script and found some things there I don’t remember from the final product.

“Chili Sauce” might be a good thing to add to the mix cuz we have lines from the movie in it. Possibly to break the ice between Electric Intercourse and The Beautiful Ones.

I also got to thinking how The Beautiful Ones could be a good name for a band… or even another name for Prince’s “fans”… it’d make sense, wouldn’t it?

So pretty much, I’ve been stressing about this whole thing the past couple days and yesterday, seeing as it was Friday, made things even worse.
Even though I’d had several times to calm down and a couple drinks in me, my head was buzzing unbelievably.

I’m really not myself and each day, it seems to be getting worse.

Though this has been going on for a while, I know its bad when I’m going through one of my favorite PlayStation games, Spyro the Dragon and all I care about is timing myself to see how long it takes me to play through the game.
Considering how long it took me to beat it, I’m surprised I can actually complete it within a single day. I’ve clocked myself at close to three hours, give or take 10 minutes.

Yeah right, like I’m going to set a world record by completing the game in the fastest time (without cheat codes, mind you).
The only cheats I’ve ever used in the Spyro trilogy is anything to get 99 extra lives. It takes the stress off when I don’t have to worry about dying a couple dozen times.
Then there’s this one code in the third game that supposedly lowers the difficulty level. I’m guilty as Al Capone of that. The third game is undoubtedly the worst, especially in the extra level at the end that you get only after getting all the dragon eggs and gems.

Strictly speaking, at this point I’d beaten all of my RPG games except for Spyro: Year of the Dragonfly and Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

The first… I beat, but failed to get 100%. The game is very glitchy and one task, I’ve found impossible to beat.

Then the second… technically I didn’t play most of it myself. My friend, Pat, who’d been one of my best friends since 7th grade, he played through the 2nd and 3rd level for me one day he came over. I still have the strategy guide he let me borrow (he hadn’t asked for it back, actually, so I’m not sure if it was a gift or I still need to give it back even though he really doesnt need it).

There was another, actually. Crash Bandicoot: Warped. Actually the third game in the series. But it was a little too difficult except for maybe two of the first five levels.

I’ll tell you something. Video games are traps waiting to spring for anyone who’s got some form of OCD. You feel you have to fully complete it or you miss out on something.

Pokémon stadium, I hadn’t technically beaten either, but unlike the gameboy games, its not actually an RPG game.

Those who don’t know by now: RPG= Role Playing Game

Unless I pull some sort of miracle, I’ll never get the full 100% on Kingdom Hearts II. The Hades Cup is just too difficult. Ironically, I find myself at the mercy of two Final Fantasy VII characters: Tifa and Yuffie.

And I beat Sephiroth… both in the first and second games. Trust me, he’s no picnic. And I’m sure anyone who’s played through FFVII will agree. He’s known as the one of the most badass villians in the video game universe.

I get nostalgic with Spyro… always have, always will. The day I got the first game is pretty much as memorable as the day I first got my Gameboy and my first Pokémon game.
The family chipped in money so I bought a gameboy and started my journey into that world.

Spyro was so popular that I almost didn’t get a copy when I came to Toy R US. Luckily they found it in the back of the storage room. It’s been hanging in there even though I must have played through 100’s maybe 1000’s of times.
When we got the Playstation that Christmas, I knew I wanted to get the game. And wow, simply amazing stuff when it first came out. Still is.
Check it out, I’d played it so many times, I have a guide on Gamefaqs.com on enemies and bosses. I’ve developed a technique for all of them… well, maybe just the ones that are the most difficult.

I say “attack frogs” and I’d get laughed at, but trust me. Those are probably the most difficult non-boss enemies in the whole game. If you try to charge them, you’ll get tonguelashed.
Then there are dogs in the first boss world that take two hits. You flame them once and they’ll try to jump on you and swish you. The trick is to flame once, jump and flame again before they get a chance to attack.

Now I’m thinking of writing a “nature log” on all the enemies, study their behaviors and such.
Totally lame and ridiculous. I’ve got too much time on my hands.
All of the above is unfortunately true.

The last video game I ever got excited about was Kingdom Hearts II and not unlike several of my other games, it took me a couple years to beat it.
But unlike the others, it was because college came between us. The other ones, I just plain gave up on until I got the courage to try again.

Writing’s been worrying me too. The same old problems, though. The stuff I was writing about maybe 6 months ago and I thought for a while that I was cured.

Truth: I’ve proved that I can still write a story from start to finish
The other side of the coin is, I can’t write anything lengthy or substantial the way I used to. I wrote my longest work shorthand over my last couple years of college. And I can’t bring myself over to edit it or at least write notes to myself where I want to change things up.

Right now, something I want to do more than anything else on that front is to write my own story about vampires.
The trick is not making it sound like Twilight like every other work that’s on webook.com.

The whole negativity towards it, I’ve had just about enough of. This was supposed to be the next “Harry Potter”-esque phenomonen. It looks like all it will ever be is a cult favorite.

Truth be told, cults can have their benefits.
Word is that Purple Rain was initially thought to become a cult film as it was only intended to be as such. Then it just ballooned into a huge rock film.

The most negative of cults, I saw one on ABC Evening News a few months ago. It was about this large family that picketed at a solider’s funeral and were holding signs about soliders doing devil’s work and how we’re being punished in this war because we plead rights for homosexuals.
It’s nearly as heinous as Carl Paladino’s claim that children are being brainwashed into believing homosexuality is a viable option.

Kurt said it best in Glee a couple weeks back. I’m paraphasing here, of course.
“How am I supposed to believe in a god that made me gay and tells his followers that I chose it?”
Strikingly, it made a lot of sense. I got into a bit of a rumble with someone on prince.org when my words came out wrong on that very subject.
I believe my words were “its not their fault”… as if being gay makes you at fault.
There’s this whole debate about nature vs. nuture. After seeing that one episode of Glee, I’ve come to believe that homosexuality is something you’re born with rather than a choice you make. I don’t believe its genetic, necessarily. That’s something completely different. Because of the ostraciation that goes with it (hope I spelled that right), a lot of people that fall into that category probably wish that they weren’t that way. But deep down, they know that its true and are afraid to come forward with it because they might be treated differently.

Whoa, time for me to back up a bit.
Here’s a lighter example of a cult:

During one episode of Boy Meets World, Shawn Hunter becomes part of a teenage cult made up of kids that feel that they have no place to go, their parents don’t understand them and their leader is the only one they can trust.
Hilariously, Eric Matthews got kicked out of the cult because he supposedly only there for the hugs (the way the cult members support one another).

When Shawn’s teacher gets in a motorcycle accident, he feels he can’t deal with it. Corey meanwhile tries to tell him that the cult leader can’t help him face the reality of it. The same teacher tried to talk Shawn out of joining the cult and was actually there to support him in other times of need.

I’m sure Shawn is a character everyone can sympathize with. Because his dad left him as a kid and his mom drove away with his trailer, he hasn’t had anyone around that he could really trust. That’s why he was staying with the one teacher for a while. He has the whole tough guy act going on with the leather jacket and such, but deep down, really is a sweet guy.
Rider Strong is one actor I definitely miss from the TGI Friday line-up.

So like I said, Twilight seems to have a cult following and probably won’t get the whole treatment as any film phenomenon.

Here’s the strangest thing I can probably say about anything:
What attracted me to Twilight was the sensuality of it. You (through the eyes of Bella Swan) are charmed by Edward and spending time with him as she does, you feel a certain spark and attraction to him just as she does. I suppose in writing, you could say Bella is a very intimate narrator because she brings you face to face with what’s going on around her.
Obviously I can understand why some parents are afraid to let their kids read the series. There’s this whole talk about how Bella and Edward don’t have the perfect relationship and how teens should see how controlling Edward is and they shouldn’t want the same thing out of life just because you’re attracted to the guy.
Then in the third book, there’s a little controversy in that Bella is trying to seduce Edward into having sex with her before he changes her. That doesn’t seem to go well with parents. Although really, they should be glad that Edward wants to wait until marriage for the whole thing to take place.

The fourth book is the edgiest of them all. There’re sex scenes, though not much detail of the actual act is gone into. All we know is that Edward has gotten a little rough in spots and therefore Bella has bruises all over that she really can’t feel, oddly enough.
Then there’s the bloody scene where Renesme is born and Edward goes Pulp Fiction on us and ingests his venom into Bella’s heart to save her life.

Besides the whole unrealistic teenage romanace thing, love vs. lust, all that jazz, people discredit the 4th book particularly because they say that it reeks of Mormon values. Bella wants to keep the baby because Mormons are pro-life, blah, blah…
It’s more about her wanting Edward’s baby, something she won’t get once she becomes a vampire. Something Rosalie and Esme wanted but couldn’t have when they were human or because they weren’t human anymore.

Boy, I could write a whole book explaining the Twilight series and it wouldn’t be enough.
Mind you, I’d be explaining Twilight vampires and not the werewolves… being that I’m on Team Edward and all.
I don’t understand the werewolf psyche quite as much.

The Vampire Diaries is an interesting realm in its own way, though its very complicated. There are mulitple creatures to contend with, vampires, werewolves and also witches.

Our heroine Elena is human. Her boyfriend Stephen, his brother Damon and now her friend Caroline are vampires. And her best friend is a witch, a descendant of a witch from Stephen and Damon’s time that helped seal the vampires of Mystic Falls into a tomb in the late 1800’s.
Being human is complicated, especially when your mom wanted to become and became a sadistic vampire, your dad wants vampires dead, your brother dated a vampire who died, and also, your boyfriend’s ex from back when he was human looks exactly like you.

Very complicated, very creepy and very melodramatic.
Sometimes I really do hate that show because some characters are so stubborn and annoy me to no end.

I wouldn’t mind creating my own vampire universe, but I’d like to keep it exclusive to vampires. Though not to the same degree necessarily as Interview with a Vampire…

Luckily I’ll get my wish on Monday. I’ll finally get to see the movie.

Hmm… well, I might have lost my spark for Prince, but definitely not about video games or vampires just yet.

Hopefully this and Twilight will give me the inspiration I need.

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