I’ll address a few things before I even begin this weekend’s playback.
This is completely insane, but through three different revenues, I’m telling three versions of the same story. I had just finished my recollection in full detail for my Stockton Memoirs (which I need to add my last semester to at some point before I forget). I plan to send my dad a short and sweet email tomorrow as well as a few leads I’d found today that I’ll invest tomorrow.
I’m sure he’ll be wanting a short play-by-play and also to see if anything else has come up.
Not really… last night was a little freaky because I had this dream that he was making me go online to check joblistings. I was freaking out a bit because I said that I had no idea what I was doing. I don’t remember his reaction, but it wasn’t pleasant. I believe he also made me check into Six Flags even though its a two hour drive. Now that isn’t realistic… but overall, it was a bit of a nightmare. In a night that could have been marred with dreams about RDJ (watching “Hearts & Souls” and a few scenes from “chances are” before laying down) and Kirby, it had to be something from the back of my subconscious.
Oh well… I figure I’ll give the play-by-play, investigate those leads and see if anything pans out.
This version will vary in the way that it will cover everything before, during and after the main event. Given that my eyes are starting to fail me and my mind might start to go as well, I gotta get started sooner rather than later.
Plus there’s the whole thing that things like these are time-sensitive. If I give too much lag time in between, I’m more likely to forget some details or otherwise not be able to address things the way I’d prefer to.
I guess I’ll start with where I last left this blog.
Thursday night was quite interesting and probably wouldn’t have been as such if I had not had the gull to look through the guide to see what else was on at 9 so I could kill time between The Office and Outsourced. Darn those complusive decisons.
It’s sad to see Paul leave American Idol because he’s truly original. Stefano is not and I’d hate for any more original contestants to leave before him… except for maybe Jacob, who I really can’t stand to watch a lot of the time. He sounds good on occasion, but excuriating to watch.
My suspicions were correct that I had seen it before, but it didn’t stop me from watching Robert Downey Jr. on Biography.
Man, was that a hell of an hour. My attention was focused the entire time. I stopped breathing at the mention of “Less than Zero” and how RDJ and Andrew McCarthy were encouraged to do some on-scene “research”… I was following it like a dog on a lead, remembering a lot of what was said and quipping bits of info here and there.
Then of course comes the mid-90’s crises and I start to lose it a bit. The worst of it came with the whole “lost Thanksgiving weekend” that eventually got him fired from Ally McBeal. I was so torn up almost beyond the point of reconiliation… trying to control my sobs lest I am heard from the other room. It was difficult to the point that when I laid down that night, the tears kept coming up.
Now I’m remembering something else. Remember how I said my dreams had been vivid recently… it so happened that I dreamt a couple times that night. One of which may have come out of this whole Biography-misadventure.
Yes… I had finally dreamt about Robert Downey Jr, but in the way I never would have expected.
It was like I was watching a TV special or series featuring him, but it was along the lines of maybe Mythbusters, something you’d seen on E! or Discovery Channel. I had been watching something else of his and came across that in the guide and turned it on. Basically, it was him giving the viewers acting lessons…
Only one scene I remember: he was sitting in the driver’s seat of a car and gets hit in the driver’s side by another car. After that occurs, glass is shattered all around him, but there isn’t a scratch on him. He dissects the scene for us (as if it was something out of a movie he did in the 80’s… he had mentioned several times how things ran slowly for him at the time… opposed to moving fast, like when he was hooked on black tar in the 90’s)… he talks about making expressions at the camera in reaction to what had just occured and they ranged from confused, sad to somewhat angry.
It came to the end of the episode or whatever and he said something witty to end the show. Then he proceeds to roll his eyes and look at the camera in somewhat of a sexy, flirtatous way.
To which I find myself very self-aware… I’m thinking to myself that there is no way he is truly like this and find myself laughing. I think I may have laughed hard enough that I woke myself up laughing… the 2nd time that’s happened (the first was that weird dream while in Australia where royal heir Ken Joeng kept saying “you no take my picture”)…
and I didn’t even care that it was nothing like his true personality… I got to dream about this guy, at last. Quite interesting.
The dream that followed had some signifiance to my current predicament. A few of my friends were in it including this one girl that my friends and I aren’t too fond of. I was very paranoid in the dream and told one of my friends to not let her get wind of me spending time with Kirby or my feelings for him or whatever… I ended up messaging them on Facebook, telling them not to let her know I’m coming or my intentions.
Before leaving, I make a last ditch attempt to get my last RDJ fix. I watched the first possessions in “Heart & Souls”. Helluva trip and it was before even leaving PA. My mom wanted to get the latest Harry Potter movie and we had to exchange a harness for a larger one for our dog. This added an hour to our trip… I spent the majority of the way up writing the dreams down in my notebook before I forgot.
One thing I really impressed on myself was to remember the dream… and I pretty much held on to every detail.
The trip down was occupied by Ryan Cabrera (great 1st album) and after much deliberation, I broke down and put in The Futurist.
It took a while to get into… unfortunately. “Man like Me” has been getting a bad rap with me since its the first track and more often than not, I haven’t been in the right state of mind to really get into it the way I had in the beginning… darn it.
I laid back and closed my eyes, trying to remain as still as possible letting everything wash over me as I would while chilling before bed. I did get the chance to mouth or softly sing some of the lyrics I knew… which I don’t get to do normally. As if I’m so afraid of disturbing the flow by overshadowing his vocals…
“Little Clownz,” my favorite, got marred by a couple of times. My mom was talking to me about someone else using the shorehouse in a few weekends and I lost my train of my thought… and it was on the verge of something beautiful.
“Details” also suffered through a little of that, as well as the dog in the backseat being unable to sit still. “Hannah” was a cut between good and the ugly.
I was disappointed that we didn’t get to the last track… and that would haunt me for a couple more hours.
After a good dinner, we finally got around to it and because my mom knew it as the Charlie Chaplin song, so she really wanted to listen to it.
Of course, I end up making somewhat of an ass of myself because I can’t keep my emotions lacked in. I was on edge this whole time about not being able to finish the album. Now that we have, I was sad to see it end… and omg, I just couldn’t help it. Irony is written all over the song because you really can’t smile after listening to it. I’m not sure what she thought of the overall album, but I know she loved RDJ’s take on “Smile.”
Was on pins and needles all night, so I barely slept.
Got to campus without a hitch on Mapquest directions and so began one of the best days I’d had in a very long time. I hadn’t been so happy since the Australia trip.
I met two of my friends at Lakeside around 11 and spent the majority of the time with them. I was uber jealous of the new campus center and took so many pictures of that place… too bad it wasn’t there when I was going here. What an amazing building.
I also learned that chivalry isn’t dead because my friend that showed up later (who I knew from animé club and as a fellow MARS major, that I hadnt seen since graduation) and Kirby offered to pay for my lunch and dinner… I had the cash, but I wasn’t going to turn down their generosity.
Speaking of Kirby, the story was that he wouldn’t be on campus until 3pm. That was what he told me Thursday. I call while we’re eating at N-wing and he says it won’t be until 4-5… still at Stone Harbor with his girlfriend, seeing as the deep-sea fishing trip was cancelled…
I brought “Charlie Bartlett” along in case we stayed inside to watch movies. Turns out that two of the three had seen the movie before and thought it was great.
To which, I was very grateful… a lot of RDJ was going around that day. First one of my friends was saying how he was the worst actor, which led me to smack him (my other friend does that to him all the time, she has him well-trained, lol)… turns out he was joking about that.
But yeah, we all got real enjoyment out of the movie. It helped put the Kirby situation out of my mind for a while and certain scenes stood out. Some of the same old ones and some new ones because the audience I was with had their say on this and that.
I realize that I’m editing this severely… but it might be for the best. I got a lot to put out there.
While watching a couple animated Batman movies, I call Kirby for an update and it’s going to be at least another hour. Then when I least expect it, he calls me back and says he’s back on campus. Says he’ll be at his apartment for a while dealing with his fishtank.
At this point, it starts to rain a bit. It was a 5 minute walk from where I was to his place, but it was all worth it. Part of me was dreading it and part of me was excited, though it wasn’t coming out outwardly. I was concerned about this situation early into the movie and with RDJ’s presence, it was on the backburner.
As time went on, though, it was clear that Kirby was the #1 thing on my mind. Not even RDJ was going to be able to interfere with it. A nice change, for sure. I spent a lot of the time fantasizing and plotting how I was going to tell him the absolute truth.
I met his current girlfriend and liked her right away. She has somewhat of a goth appearance with the goth hair and locks of hair the usual color of bluish-teal, but she has the attitude of monotone sarcasm that won me over. Yeah, she was great. Despite the fact that put a damper on my plans… how to work around a girlfriend…
I spent four hours with Kirby, but only half an hour was just the two of us. I kept wondering how I was going to break the news to him… as futile as it became that I’d be coming back to the shorehouse that night, it was even more so that I’d ever get around to telling him.
Between his, his girlfriend’s and the apartment where the party they were going to was being held, we had to go back and forth in puddles and torrential downpours (as well thunder and lightning)… my socks were soaked through, which reminded me of another experience with him. Stuck at the field station cuz he locked his carkeys in the wetlab… my feet soaked through from the Ichthyology field trip… it wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences between the soaked feet and being mad with myself that I couldn’t make a move towards him, given the situation.
This was the opposite of that. Though it eventually gave me reason to put off the confession, I didn’t find myself angry or upset with any of the parties after the night had ended… I appreciated every minute we got and I didn’t care. It was just as well that I waited because the timing definitely wasn’t right. It’d only have worked in a movie.
Yeah, little by little, my memory of the night is leaving me…
Once back at my friends’ place, I went on a few tirades about RDJ’s movies and kept throwing around facts about him at complete random. Couldn’t do that on here so I had to have an outlet to expend that energy… I hope they didn’t mind my venting too much.
On our way back home, once back in Pennsylvania, that depression broke over me again. I tried to listen to Wendy & Lisa to ease some of the pain, but it only took me so far. I was on the verge of tears for the next couple hours because I realized what a dire situation I had myself in. I really hadn’t been myself and RDJ really had taken over a good portion of me. I was talking about him so much as if I was all about him… which I have been. I know, unhealthy and insane… been there, said and done that more times than I can count.
I told my friends to be sure to stay in touch with me because I’ll neglect to do so myself… I was temporarily awake and as much as I wanted to go back to being under the spell of obsession, I wanted to make arrangements where I wouldn’t have this lapse of judgement or this lapse of personality… depression, all that jazz.
I took away that facts that my friends are and always will be awesome. And when my socks are soaked through, I’ll be thinking about Kirby from now on. LOL
Yeah, train of thought is nearly gone.
Today was quite interesting as well and it had a few ups and downs. I got up early to see Robert Pattinson talk about Water for Elephants. I was so depressed almost beyond the point of self-recognition… I went through my pictures and started writing the recollection for my archives (I couldn’t do it the night before simply because I was still too close/attached to the situation and needed to let it marinate for a while)… and that actually helped me feel better.
Right now, I’m remotely stable, which is amazing considering what I ended up doing.
I had the option of watching Sherlock Holmes or Remember Me and I opted for the latter because
a) I wanted to get it out of the way now rather than later and
b) the timing just wasn’t right and I didn’t want to watch that movie unless I was absolutely sure that I needed to/wanted to… wasn’t quite there yet
I took in every moment of the movie with a grain of salt. I analyzed a lot of things. Interestingly, it shares “Less than Zero” ‘s 2 star rating on the guide and both happen to be character-driven films with a tragic ending.
I thought about all of the characters in the movie and their significances. Tyler’s younger sister, Caroline really got the short end of the stick and I felt really bad for her in some scenes that she nearly overshadowed her brother. Their brother had recently hung himself and Tyler blames their father for not spending time with them… Caroline is under the impression he doesn’t want to spend time with her and Tyler spends the whole movie trying to fix that rift, despite the fact he can’t stand his father.
I remember saying how I loved the individual characters of Caroline, Ally and Aidan and they made the movie work… I literally took every piece of dialogue to heart to really get a feel for everyone and what role they served.
Perhaps the hardest part to watch aside from the climax was the scene where Caroline’s storyline takes a turn for the worst. Girls at her school thought that she was weird and were teasing her. Then at one of their birthday parties, her hair gets cut off as a cruel joke and the girls say she did it to herself and because it wasn’t on school grounds, they couldn’t press charges. This leads Tyler to cause a disturbance in the classroom and get arrested again… his dad bails him out and plans on making sure the girls get pressured to transfer as means of exacting revenge. To which Tyler is grateful. Heck, his actions are ultimately the reason he’s in the tower on 9/11… also why his dad wasn’t. He had gone out of his way to drive Caroline to school that day. So Tyler’s actions, insignificant as they are, helped bring them together in 2 ways and saved a life and an already fractured family.
One thing that caught me off guard was that 9/11 was Tuesday… but for some reason, I keep believing it was on a Friday… I don’t know how I got that idea.
That aside, though, I still remembered every moment of that longest final minute of Tyler’s life as I had watched in the theater a little over a year ago… I was on the verge of collapse, shaking, ready to have tears streaming down my face… and the numbness was coming back. All of that stuff I remember so well even an entire year later… it’s one of those movies you can only see every once in a while or otherwise, it gets to be too much. The next time will be on the anniversery of 9/11 in September.
Crazy as it was, I had to compensate and prevent a further depression by watching Twilight, which had directly followed this movie on Showtime.
That was a hell of an experience… my mind was running on a couple tracks at that time… the strongest thing going on was me dissecting the movie scene by scene, line by line… thinking this is a ridiculous device of Hollywood to prove a point, this wasn’t in the book, that was out of place. I could literally write a 15-20 page paper on what I find fault in in this movie as a Twi-hard. Some things made me cringe and there were few moments and scenes that I full on accepted as legit adaptations.
I had just read the next memoir of Sherlock Holmes and it was an interesting one. Never knew Sherlock to take ill over anything. But he came off a particuarly difficult case and was dealing with that illness while on this latest case. Watson tried to talk him out of getting into it, but to no avail. There was one scene where Sherlock had collapsed while on scene… but it turns out that it was for show and investigation purposes rather than him really being ill.
Never knew he to be infallible in any sense of the word… when I watch the Blu-ray, I’ll go into Maximum movie mode to get some more out of it.
So I believe it ends here for now… hopefully I’m not forgetting anything and I’ll try to get my fix really quick before I crash for the night.
Awesome weekend I won’t soon forget.
I’ll dispense my third and last version of this story via email whenever I get up tomorrow morning.