about to “cross the streams” [just added review post]

EDIT: Scroll to the very end for what I posted on .org. Someone finally replied to my topic and offered some sound advice and some sad truths… which include the fact people don’t know much about classical records or even who Hall & Oates are (omg, god forbid, lol)

Those who have seen Ghostbusters know that that’s a last minute fact that Harold Ramis before the gang goes out to capture the Slimer haunting the hotel.

it’s kind suspicious to me and strange that he says “there’s something I forgot to tell you” before this fact…did he just remember that was in the script, it was in the script that way or that was total improv?

I’ve kinda gotten to know for a fact that Prince and Robert Downey Jr. are two realms in my world that really shouldn’t cross… and the only reason they do, or rather reasons is because I’m hugely influenced by both and they’ve worked with some of the same people.
Rosario Dawson for starters,
Halle Berry as well, but Prince kinda gave her the award for her latest role at the NAACP awards

But mainly they are together in my mind because I enjoy my time with both.
One relationship being slightly unhealthier than the other…

I’m starting to see more evidence of that now, in fact.
Prince made me isolate myself from people because I had to get into his music on my own… although I took the advice of others on his records and which to get, I had to somewhat become self-reliant as an admirer of the music… to hone my opinions before I could spread them around.
But then again, I think after a while I got addicted on posting my thoughts and knowing right away what other people thought about my thoughts

Huh, I guess both “relationships” were unhealthy in their own ways.

I had this dream last night where I was thinking about how strange it is that my dreams aren’t that strange or out there and could easily be mistaken for reality…
during one of them, I was really not in the best of moods because “so you think you can dance” got pre-empted for a special “Glee” epsiode that’s gonna be shown a couple times over the week…

I love both quite a bit… love dancing and love “Glee”… but I wanted to see Lady Gaga guest judging, which she will be next week, so the fact I’d be missing that or not get to see it when I was expecting to… that just rubbed me the wrong way, I was infuriated.

And the fact I’m only listening to the radio these days in hopes that one of her songs will play…
kinda shows I’m developing a problem in that realm as well…

Truth be told, I have woken up the past several days with one of her songs on my mind.
Today was different because it was “Bloody Mary”… instead of my usual, which is “You & I”… love that song… it’s very sweet.


There was a comment my mom made last weekend to my aunt who saw the last Harry Potter movie with us. They were talking about a video my dad took of my mom singing karaoke at a high school reunion party one of my dad’s old classmates organized thru Facebook.
Let’s just say that my parents and a lot of my aunts and uncles belong to one of those groups where everyone who grew up in the same neighborhood grew up together in high school and all that fun stuff… kinda like the situation of Forks High School… such a small town that everyone knows everyone… and when they moved with me to PA in July of ’87, it was like the end of the series Cheers… you know that same theme about a place where “everybody knows your name”

My mom was singing this one song in the clip and she’d already had a couple drinks at the time… so yeah, we were all laughing at her “tone-deaf”ness…
I wouldn’t figure that when she was sober, though… she does kinda have a nice voice… this going quite a ways back to my childhood she’s also a fantastic reader, makes Sherlock Holmes sound even more entertaining when she reads some passages aloud to me.

Can’t wait to read more, but I’d hate to see the end of that book come which probably will if I don’t limit myself to one story every couple of days.

Long story short,
she made a comment that I sing karaoke really well…

I believe I made a comment ages ago… those days when I was recording myself singing on my cellphone… and I thought I sounded pretty bad…

I guess this comes from once or twice when I’d be singing to Taylor Swift on the radio and she said that I sounded as good as Taylor did on the songs…
that whole chorus/choir thing that got busted into my head about making voices blend… and I kinda want to take what I love about the vocals of my favorite songs with me without having to listen to the song…
so that’s something I kinda do, love doing and don’t want to stop doing.

It certainly doesn’t look like I’ll be auditioning for American Idol anytime soon… I have kinda considered the idea but I don’t know who I am as an artist.
So I kinda have to go by a couple people.

I did as I said I was most likely to do… and broke my vow to watch Ally McBeal yesterday… if only to watch the opening credits
know he’s not gonna show, but always am hoping.

It’s good to have the Internet back for sure, I was kinda starting to lose my mind a bit… goes to show that I REALLY don’t have a life.

I went through a bunch of YouTube clips last night trying to hold onto the whole inspiration I’d been trying to hold onto for whatever storyline I wanted to create.
It’s pretty insane how hard it is for me to keep him on my mind to write about him… probably the best muse I could ever ask for but either my mind or my heart isn’t cooperating.

Part of me might be holding back because it still hurts that he left or rather HAD to leave…
I’m trying to figure out how or why he left in my version of the story… or his character that I’m trying to create… but I think my issue still lies in the fact that I want to hash out the whole backstory before starting this… when I should just write the scenes I want to write and figure out the hard stuff later.

The latest idea I have for why he left was that there was the option of him going to law school, me coming with him and because I’m hesitant to leave where I am, he decides to leave and leaves with a note very similar to the last note Larry leaves for Ally.

Larry isn’t good with goodbyes… that’s something I could most likely add to this character… but other than that, I have no idea about why he and his love interest split apart. A big thing that’s working its way into the idea in my head, based on how I’m feeling about going back to watching the show, is that I’m very hesitant to get back into it, afraid of being hurt again.

I’m discussing with my fellow Purple Knight at the moment about Prince’s Emancipation album set… at some point today I gotta get around to listening to disc 2… cuz it starts with “sex in the summer” and the month of July is mentioned.

Something I oughta do is go through my music, find out which ones mention which months and actually listen to the songs that have that month in their lyrics somewhere… I have yet to listen to “sometimes it snows in April” in April… the first time, I didn’t have the album or the song… and the other times, maybe I’m waiting to actually see snow in April before I listen to it in that month.

I already have April, July, (both from Prince) September (“wake me up when September ends”), October (“The Futurist”) and December (“Back to December”)

I think Prince had June in his lyrics as well, but I can’t remember off the top of my head.

A couple things I know for sure:

this is the first day in the past couple where I haven’t woken up and been kept awake by an impromptu adrenaline rush… owed completely to the Ally McBeal development

and for the life of me, I can’t even remember the second thing right now… I just got into a discussion about the what if’s of Prince’s son, who would be a teenager right now, had the unfortunate happened…
and when we were discussing if he would follow in Prince’s footsteps in music or he would not want to compete…
Robert gave Indio the option to choose his own way in the world, and it seems that he’s leaning more towards music than acting…

Indio Downey is gonna be 18 this year
that’s something else Robert shares in common with Larry… they both have a son from a previous marriage


in all seriousness, I can’t remember that 2nd thing I was so sure about… because it was the reason I started that topic of conversation in the first place.

Yikes… I started this entry because I wanted to work out a review or a discussion of The Futurist to later post on .org.
Now I don’t think I can do that… between the Facebook chat and watching “Jungle 2 Jungle” on TBS, I kinda lost interest.

It went really well last night and it was cool to chill with.
On occasion I was thinking about how cool it was to see him sing on Ally McBeal… like nobody had an idea he had such a great voice

now that I’d seen a bunch of his movies, I know that it certainly isn’t the first time.

He sang in part of The Pick-up Artist and Heart & Souls
he learned how to tap dance from Ramon Estavez and tapped a bit in Less than Zero
he played piano in Chances are and Chaplin

yeah, he’s multi-talented… but man did that blow me away the first time I heard him sing on Ally McBeal… WOW…

The title track is probably the slowest part of the album.
Broken sounded great 😎
“Little Clownz” gave me chills that kinda snuck up on me towards the end… “Details” was guilty of the same thing.

“5:30” made me smile as the only upbeat song on the record…

and a couple of times during “Smile”… I smiled, but of course the ending had that melancholy after-taste.

that man has left me speechless several times since early Februrary… and this is another one of those times.

there’s just too much to say about him that I could possibly go on forever. Even he would think I was nuts for repeating the good things about him over and over again…
if the rumors are true and he does google himself, maybe if I post enough topics about him, he’ll see this place on google one of these days.

I just hope I never go overboard to the point where he dismisses me for being mental… the realms of a-list and fangirl really should never cross into something like the physical, the face to face.
I can’t even comprehend that because the pressure makes me go into the fetal position… my mind can’t understand the possibility of it ever happening…

I thought I was nervous about meeting Dream Street and JMac those times… the mere idea of this would be like having a million explosions going on simultaneously… my mind crashing, my stomach falling a million stories, every muscle giving out one after the other…

I’d considered once or twice the idea of meeting Prince in person and I think my mouth would drop so much that I wouldn’t be able to get a word out. I’d be in such awe of the man… and I don’t think I’d even know where to start.

He and Gaga inspire me to be an individual… his inspiration goes beyond that and encouraged me to stay on the path of finding singers and songwriters, looking for the true artists amongst the pre-packaged and the mainstream garbage that had polluted the airwaves for the past several years.
Gaga has inspired me to be cool with myself…

at the moment I’m kinda having trouble embracing myself as a writer because I really don’t have the energy or the will power to really “sell the soap” that I’d worked so hard to write and get just right in the first place.
I’m still trying to work out what kind of writer I am… this blog allows me to be more honest and put up things that are more honest than I dare let most people see. But on the positive, it allows me to have no qualms about writing about myself… which I’m almost always hesitant to do.

To make sense out of something going on in me or around me, I write about it.
And I’ve learned to harness those gifts to really put my feelings about something down for safe keeping and my own records so I remember how much it affected me… and more importantly (as in the case of Julian) why I believed in it so much in the first place that I HAD to write about.

The things I am passionate about somewhat make me who I am in certain parts of my life… I live through other people quite a bit, mostly the ones I admire a great deal and mostly have no hope of ever meeting face to face… not that I’d make it my life’s mission to do so

the fact that I’d set my cellphone alarm and hang around every afternoon just longing to see him on Ally McBeal kinda says straight out that he was a powerful influence on me at the time. And in a very uncertain time for me, he made me happy and helped me forget (if only for a few minutes) the things that were bothering me.
Perhaps the strongest escapism I’d ever experienced with any actor, any place.

although it has caused me “sorrow” and “pain,” the good things about that time are definitely worthwhile for me to write about. And it’s not very often when I find something that makes me happy to write about and would be happy to read back. Almost everything I write is depressing to a degree and there isn’t enough in it to make me smile.

Correspondingly, as much as it made me happy to have him around to look forward to seeing everyday, I feel the exact opposite when he’s not around… as if he’s the only thing I have that’s keeping my spirits up. So without that spark to hold onto its like there’s nothing left.

I somewhat neglect to see the other good things in my mind around me because it’s like nothing else can compare to him… a joy that I had never known before.

In some ways, the infatuation is like every crush I had in high school… I’d hold onto something all day, the idea of seeing him  and when I do I feel better… but often times, its equally nerve-wracking to be around them… cuz I feel like I should say something.

He’s different in the fact that he’s not completely real… we don’t physically co-exist in the same realm, so the pressure is completely off. I tend to live through Ally watching the series, feeling what she’s feeling when she’s around him, which spurs me the stress of actually being in the relationship.

Every crush is stressful for me and several times I feel like I’m cracking at different seams that keep opening and closing.

Kirby is probably the only one that is remotely similar to what I go through with Larry Paul in the series… I’m miserable and kicking myself when he’s not around and I’m stressing out until the very moment where I see him… and being around him is enough for me, all of the previous pains and angst doesn’t matter anymore.

One of these days I ought to write a story inspired by my feelings for Kirby… but at some point, I’m assuming that fantasy will have to end. I’ll have to confess that I might feel things more for him than friendship… which I have done with all my crushes but this has to be a face to face confrontation…

although it might sound kinda creepy and wreckless, I’m going to add an ultimatum, which could accompany the fact of whether or not he has a girlfriend at the time

“I know you’re seeing someone right now, but regardless, I don’t care how long it takes. I will wait for you to give me a chance if you see this as a possibility as well”

the other day watching the show, I found it interesting that Ally went into relationships with these guys who asked her out with such ease… I’m always concerned about being good friends with someone first before jumping into that realm… but maybe its because nobody has openly asked me out that same way… which kinda leads me to believe I’m not pretty enough to be considered as datable

Yet here I am again being down on myself based on what other people supposedly think of me… being confident about oneself is the first step… once people see that confidence, they’ll take interest…

I’d love to get to that point in the conversation where someone asks me what I do or what my hobbies/interests are… then I could go into my writing… but things are so complicated there that I wouldn’t even know where to start.

I used to use it to escape to different worlds where mythical creatures exist… now I’m using it to address people and movies that influenced me so much that I’d like to put my own spin on them. My interests are always changing and shifting.

Probably the only things that have been consistent are that I’m crazy about movies, music and love to read :shrug:


“Forget all about his troubled past and the fact this record may have been a commercial flop,

it is probably the most interesting and unique record I’d picked up since I was crazy in love with Prince’s music way back when.

Multi-talented as he is, the majority of people found about Robert’s musical talents during his time on the Fox series “Ally McBeal.”

Few know that he had been playing and songwriting for a long time, but turning 40 in April of 2005 made for a good excuse to put something out there. To boldly go to new territory he had never dared to tread before.

Aside from two covers, “Your Move” by Yes (which is a medley of a couple Lennon/McCartney songs) and “Smile” by the great Charlie Chaplin.

Which I believe had to have been part of this record. He DID play the man, watched nearly all of his films and was nominated for a best acting Oscar (which went to Al Pacino for “Scent of a Woman”).

I have heard a couple versions of the song before, including a segment from Charlie’s original recording, and I say he did it amazing justice. The better of the two covers by a mile (I have yet to determine why/how “Your Move” fits into this record).

But aside from those two, all of the songs were written/co-written by him and he played piano and keyboards as well.

If I were to compare the vibe to any Prince album, I guess something like One Night Alone, because it’s very jazz oriented with a nice mix of soul, pop and rock.

I love nearly all the tracks with the except of the one cover and the title track is somewhat sleepy, but Man like me, Broken, Little Clownz and 5:30 are definitely worth a look into.

There are some creative allusions to his troubled past, times of hopelessness followed by moments of triumph and joy. The lyrics are sometimes hard to decipher as in they aren’t always grammatically correct or plain don’t make sense to me. Although I try to do so, it’s not my greatest concern.

Perhaps the greatest musical combinations here are that between piano and string arrangements which bring with them an accompanying vibe of sorrow or triumph.

It might not be the greatest record in the world, but it was a breath of fresh air for me. By all means, I’d recommend ordering it from Amazon.com (good luck finding it in stores, which goes to show it might have been a flop commerically).”

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