“It’s kind of a funny story” about Infatuation and MTV

I’m gonna attempt to cover a number of subjects in this post while adhering to the following ground “rules”… and as rules were made to be broken, item #2 might very well derail a lot of stuff I could say about other subjects

strange how I don’t remember any of my dreams except for a couple of details… one of which just came back to me.
One of them was really strange, like it was an assignment for a job or school, I was given a number of items to test and try out and say which one I liked best.

I’m guessing we were doing a field study for McDonald’s or Burger King because I was given three onion slices labeled A, B, and C and I had to figure out which one I liked best… One was too harsh to the point of nausea, one was too soft… A was perfect, but then there was something about us getting lost in a jungle… it was weird, probably too much to the point beyond recollection.
as for the second part that just came back to me, there were a couple of times where I saw Sherlock sitting on a stoop in London, but it could just as easily have been New York (i.e. “The Pick-up Artist”)…

and it was Robert as Sherlock with long hair, costume, accent and all 😉

$%#&
Prince calls himself an “Endorphinmachine” in the Gold Experience… I’m more willing to give that title to Robert Downey Jr.
“the multi-talented actor/singer/songwriter Endorphinmachine”

On days when I’m thinking about Larry Paul or looking forward to seeing him, I woke up with an adrenaline rush…
seeing as I’m working hard to avoid the television today during that time slot because I don’t want to be let down… again…
that sensation has been quite nicely replaced with running on endorphins…

the difference between endorphins and adrenaline… both make me happy… but there really isn’t a “rush” that comes with endorphins… they’re the pleasure hormone, which according to Elle Woods suggests that since Brooke Taylor-Wyndam works out, which gives her endorphins and makes her happy, she couldn’t shoot her husband… cuz “happy people just don’t shoot their husbands”

If I were to do a dumb blonde contest with three of my favorite movie characters, I’d say that Anna Faris (“The House Bunny”) ranks about 8.5, Elle Woods (“Legally Blonde”) ranks about 5-6, and Cher (“Clueless”)… I think I’d rank her very closely to Elle Woods. You have to take the great “transformation” into account with Elle… she did kinda start out as a dumb blonde, especially when it came to her jerk boyfriend that breaks up with her on the dinner she thought he was proposing to her… but she definitely knows when a scam is in progress when she’s shopping 😉

Cher might be a little higher up on that scale than Elle…

this isn’t to say I’m leaving anyone out, these are just three of my favorite movie characters that happen to be blonde…

anyway, back to endorphins…
if a rush accompanies a higher supply of them, it’s not quite as much as the adrenaline rushes I was getting the past weeks…
my face kinda flushes and my heart flutters when I think about him and how I’m undoubtedly infatuated with RDJ… I go about my usual business (or lack thereof) and occasionally he springs to mind or I decide to bring him to mind… and it’s like Cloud 9

When we had lost Internet, I kinda made it my mission to beat a game of Minesweeper at Expert Mode… during which I learned a couple of strategies and finally last night before my YouTube clips, I managed to do that… it took me 387 seconds, not that I was in a hurry to get it done, I just wanted to win one… consequently, my mind was thinking through the game during many other activities, including listening to The Futurist a couple nights ago… my mind was clicking and double-clicking squares during every track… almost like a mental screensaver in between some wonderful imagery

yesterday was kinda fun working on getting better at the game and I was listening to The Fame Monster to kinda help get my mind at ease… a lot of fun, as always…
I’m learning the words of Monster, Speechless and So happy I could die, or I believe I am… I’m still kinda bad at Speechless… and not just at lyrical recall…
the impression I’m getting is that Gaga had a falling out with a boyfriend to maybe alcohol and drugs and she said that if she doesn’t talk or love again, would that be enough to convince him to quit the stuff that’s putting the rift between them… something about that turn of events just really gets to me and it’s the second time I’d heard this, sung to it and was crying my eyes out… it sneaks up on me

then I played around a little bit of YouTube clips… first watched the performance of “Judas” on Ellen, trying to capture some of the choreography… but a lot’s going on
I think of myself as a person, not with two left feet necessarily, but I need to be shown choreography in order to dance really well… even when I’m by myself, I’m extremely self-conscious about that and I’d love to be able to dance like that

speaking of dance, the show last night was AMAZING… and it may/may not be too late, but I’m officially a fan of Melanie’s… OMG… my dad picked her to win when she made the top 20 and I didn’t remember her at all, so immediately I was opposed to the idea… maybe because I needed proof…
if last night wasn’t proof enough, then I don’t know what was… I think I was starting to fall last week when she did that Contemporary with Neil to that song “Total Eclipse of the Heart”… it was an amazing representation of the emotions of that piece and… she was flawless…

last night, she did a hip-hop that was kinda weird and unusual with Twitch, but it worked out quite well… then she danced a Sonya jazz number with Tadd where she’s auditioning for him and he seduces her just to get a good routine out of her… everything about it… phew… that was a well deserved standing ovation.

Caitlynn, who I’ve always kinda liked… probably for the same reasons I came to really enjoy Jeanine a couple seasons ago… subtlety is key and she definitely took everyone by surprise this week… between her Samba with Pasha (hot and spicy to the point I almost couldn’t breathe, lol) and her Contempoary with Marko slowly but surely won me over in no time at all… but a great deal is owed to the backing track “Between the lines”… which was beautiful

Sasha has been noted as one of the beasts and definitely has had some highlights… but I wasn’t completely feeling her last night or last week… not quite as much as everyone else, I dunno…
I doubt she’s going to get sent home over Caitlynn… but I’m kinda hoping for that…

Caitlynn, Melanie and Tadd are my top three 😉

so “Judas” was amazing as always, I decided to rewatch her interview with Ellen because… heck, she’s an interesting person to listen to.

And she always kinda makes me evaluate myself too… like how she says to do what you’re passionate about and not pay attention to people saying you can’t… not exactly but that’s the sentiment…
the only thing I have going for me at the moment is this blog… I’m not writing any stories or editing the ones I’d done ages ago… which I really should… can’t have anything to publish without editing… although in a couple years down the road, when I’ve kinda gotten a stable position in the working world and I’m living on my own, I could hire an editor and maybe that’ll be something of use to me…

the only thing I probably have to do is write down the details that I’d like to keep in my works and not have them completely rubbed out by another’s opinion.
My only guess is that my query letters suck, or there’s too many appliants or the economy sucks… but I haven’t heard back from anyone I sent one too… just one and that was a good 2 months ago, at least

all of my primary interest seems to be here and unfortunately, going on and on about my infatuation with RDJ isn’t doing me any favors other than securing a room in the looney bin. It was pretty crazy with Prince, but I had never thought as I do with him as I do with Robert… he’s a little bit more emotionally accessible… I guess between Prince being at his age (only 7 years older… huh, 7, that’s funny) and somewhat of the recluse that he is (you certainly don’t see him at the red carpet all the time), I don’t allow my mind to wander with him… maybe I just have too much respect for what he does that I’d hate to let my ego (and ironically/consquently, libido) get in the way

you know things are bad when you lay awake at night (that wasn’t the only reason, I had also drank a can of Pepsi around 8 so I was kinda wired already) and have the sudden desire to make it known that you’d love to write a celebrity’s autobiography for them…
as much as I believe I’d become an expert because of all the material I’d been checking into, I’m probably nowhere near close enough for him to be interested… plus there’s the fact I’m hardly qualified.
If he asked for references, I’d be dead cuz I have none… the best I could do is go into my blog archives and pull out something I did about Prince a while back where I had some level of subjectivity

the latest I heard, which was at least a couple years back, was that he had planned to write an autobiography but because of his workload or loss of interest (maybe both), it’s been permanently shelved

To, hopefully, end this part of the blog, I must say that my mind is in a good place and bad place simultaneously… the good is that I’m happy, the bad is that I was such a crybaby because I was so happy and touched last night…

you’d think that after seeing the same clip a couple of times you wouldn’t feel the same magic… the trick is that I haven’t played it multiple times in a given week like I did Purple Rain, kinda wrecking my relationship with that movie cuz it’s all too predicatable and I’d said all that can be said…
maybe my lack of attraction to Larry Paul yesterday was attributed to me spending a little time with the 40-year old RDJ instead of the  35-year old one… he looks amazing right now, looked amazing as Tony Stark in 2008… I’m willing to say that he looked his absolute best at 40

so I rewatched the Jonathan Ross interview probably the 6th or 7th time (once a month, so I figure at least that much)… ending of course with him performing… I already had the album’s version running through my head and I immediately abandoned that to listen to him sing live… I don’t have a word to describe what was going on, but it was like some pheromone was oozing through the air around him that pulled me in, suckered me in more like, and it was like being able to reach out and touch his soul (which existed in the pheromone surrounding the stage)…
the beauty and honesty of it was not necessarily intoxicating, but whatever it was, I was feeling it and as I breathed it in… how do I describe it without going overboard… the genunity of it all just got to me and after shutting it off and being in bed, I went on one of my 5 minute crying jags…

god, I’m pathetic…
but they were tears of joy, not pain or agony, so that’s an improvement.

And I turned over both versions of the song while I tried to sleep… had a bit of difficulty there, took me at least half an hour, if not more
After waking up this morning, I was still feeling some of those endorphins lingering in my veins and I didn’t want to get out of bed for the very reason I’d hate for them to go away

some of my feeling low last night, after turning over the song in my head a few more times, was attributed to finally seeing “It’s kind of a funny story”
I’d mentioned it before, saying I sometimes think of myself in that position… I’m stressed out, feeling down on myself to the point I could potentially be suicidal

Our protagonist Craig is only 16 when he decides to check himself into the mental hospital to, I guess, preserve his life cuz he’s already contemplated jumping from a bridge… partially due to the fact he went off Zoloft without a doctor’s consent… but there’re tiny issues in every facet of his life that brought him to this place… so he spends a week there to gain some perspective

it’s one of those dry dramedies where the humor is dry, but it’s definitely there and of course, there’s a good mix of comedy and drama (hence the “dramedy” moniker)… I’m not 100% sure what I came away with by the time the movie ended, but I knew that I was glad that I decided to check it out

it’s interesting and most certainly not the typical movie I watch…

all boils down to the fact I’d considered the same thing sometimes… I don’t know how to function in the real world, don’t know what my calling is (or rather what to do with my calling, I know what my calling is)… so yeah, every now and then, I do feel like I could use a therapist like Viola Davis (who was brilliant in this, I didn’t even know who she was until I saw her mentioned as a guest on Regis for the movie “The Help”) to really prod me with questions and ask me to evaluate this and that about my life

I kinda wanted to do this blog without bringing my personal dramas into it… certainly not bringing myself down to certain levels of insanity… I worked on that yesterday and the night before… I wanted it to be a very positive entry about why I’m so crazy about RDJ, but I think I certified myself as such in the process… he could read it and want a restraining order, already clarified that detail

I annonated this issue yesterday… I think my biggest issue in my functionality is that I don’t know how to exist as my own person… what I am is evident through what things I choose to bring into my life… my music defines me, but it’s more about whatever celebrity is orbiting my subconscious. Since I started paying attention to celebrities, it’s always kinda been like that

Dream Street and JMac for one…
Lindsay Lohan for a time, like when I was checking into her earlier movies when she was still a teenager and her life was without all of this trouble and people have stopped giving her credit for what she had done…

I have dismissed people like Charlie Sheen and Amy Winehouse because of their issues… I still don’t quite trust Charlie Sheen or really put much stow in what he says… with Amy it’s kinda obvious that I’d come around and I can’t really dismiss her anymore…
Lindsay Lohan is someone I still haven’t given up on, because I’m probably one of the few that’s not really paying attention to the drama and the rehab… I’m just waiting around for her to return to the movies and hopefully a third album (loved the first two). I guess age has something to do with it. She’s my senior by 27 days, so that alone makes it hard for me to really put her down or give up on her

and thanks to things like the tabloids and TMZ, I’m very reluctant to believe half of the rumors that I hear about her anyway… cuz I don’t know what’s true and cuz a lot of peole have already dismissed her, the tabloid writers will ride that wave until it completely ceases to be true

I’d taken into account a couple of people I’d come to admire recently… names like Katy Perry, Emma Stone, Kat Dennings and Taylor Swift

I quickly googled it: Katy Perry is my senior by 2 years, so she definitely is within range… which kinda extends a bit, depending on how closely I revere the celebrity.

Kat shares a birthday with the Olsen Twins (June 13) so we’re about the same age:
interestingly, Taylor and Emma are younger than me… but that’s not going to take away from the fact I think they’re both incredibly talented at what they do.

A movie as good as “Easy A”… as new, interesting and thought-provoking it is… it’s one of those things where you see an actress either for the first time or the first time in a really amazing role… and it’s movies like that that make me say “I’m going to keep a look out for this person”

Kat Dennings is a slightly different story that isn’t completely without influence regarding the infatuation… Anton Yelchin, same deal, but I think he won me over enough as Charlie Bartlett that I will keep a look out for him regardless of the fact he was protagonist to RDJ in the film

I’m not a fan of Colin Farrell (mostly in part to the name-dropping in “In the land of women” where he becomes the bane of Adam Brody’s existence… as there’s a rumor that his ex is dating him… and also a bit in part to “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”… where it’s revealed that Harry Lockhart was brought over to LA for a screen-test to convince Colin Farrell to lower his “price tag”… I don’t know about acting prowess, but goddamit, Harry Lockhart is a better looking guy than Colin Farrell… and I’d definitely side with Adam Brody too… I loved him as the geeky Seth Cohen in “The O.C.” the reason I wanted to see that movie… not quite as much so in this movie, but his character is a really nice guy)

but I’m considering seeing Fright Night at some point because that Charlie Bartlett kid is in it
incidentally, my folks were talking about the original, made in the 80’s and said I need to see it sometime… now they’re dismissing the idea of the remake

now I’m losing my thoughts and maybe a couple of games of Minesweeper will bring me back around… I still gotta discuss the 30th anniversy of MTV…

yikes…
I didn’t download that Maroon 5 track to my iPod…
there’s a song on the 2nd album called “Infatuation”… it’s kinda part of that section where the outtakes and b-sides are… the addition tracks in the deluxe edition…

I think I’m trying to work myself to keep away from the TV… there is some temptation to watch, but I gotta remember the fact that it was painful to see him leave at the end of it. Not nearly as much as it was during the last episode where everything that could go wrong did as far as the misunderstanding cliché goes, but it came close

Being selfless and understanding really sucks sometimes… other people are happier but your actions leave you unhappy sometimes… kinda what Ally does by allowing Larry to spend time with Sam in Detriot, telling him to go because she knows it’ll make him happy

By nature, I think that humans are selfish beings… and I’m probably among the most selfish, always thinking of myself first, my needs first, me me me… you know the whole drill…

My flaws are rooted very deep in vanity… the strange thing is that I can think highly of myself in some regards, but I spend the rest of the time dumping on myself

compared to maybe other people my age, I think of myself more highly because I like to think I have better taste in music… and that’s pretty much where it stops.

I have this time, which I’m sure other people have, where I look to others’ opinions for gratification and whatnot… feedback is what I thrive on to know whether or not what I’m doing is the right thing or if it’s good enough.
I’d only shown my writing to a couple of people, people that know me personally and they say that it’s good… but seeing as they’re not in the field, I can’t completely be satisfied with that. I need people in the industry, agents and publishers to let me know that I’m writing is any good. As of right now, I have no declaration of that one way or another… it’s certainly not good enough to catch attention of people to where they reply to me right away and let me know that they love it and want to do something with it.
Whether or not I hear back is pretty much in that regard. You only hear back if you’re exceptional… if you’re so-so, you could just be stuck in a slush pile for months or years and never be given a second look… and if you’re bad, you get thrown out… all I have to go on are emails that say that my work isn’t what they’re looking for or they have a flooding load of subsmissions to get through… the first could be one way or another… it’s not the kind of story that’s trending right now or the quality isn’t what they’re looking for

I ought to spend an entire day going through a list of new agents and submitting to them… I’d bound to get more feedback or possibilities with them.
The Lifetime special on J.K. Rowling has me believing in miracles… I might not get the same as Jo Rowling or even remotely as successful (her story’s one in a billion so it’s kinda hard to aspire to those heights)

my difficulty at the moment that’s keeping me from doing just that, doing a butt load of submissions to newbie agents… is that I’m suffering from Prince’s type of ADD… being focused more on the present than the past… I don’t believe at the moment that I have interest enough to really go the extra mile for Jonas’s story… one too many rejections has me being very skeptical and nervous of the prospect. The worst I can hear is that they’re not interested but its kinda like… how many people can I go through because I’d gone through everyone in my genre… and that’s leaving me with the likely possibility that I’m not good enough to be published

I have a couple of reasons to have low self-esteem and this is most definitely one of the most debilitating.
The other ones are a lot more vain… nobody I found attractive ever asked me out so I’m left to conclude I’m not pretty or attractive…

and of course one of my greatest issues, currently, is that I’m not appealing enough to employers, otherwise I’d be hired by now… but I’m kinda going about things half-heartedly. I don’t follow through with a lot of things because I’m looking at the big picture. I don’t want to be stuck in a certain field for the rest of my life so I’m hesitant to get my foot in the door…
the only thing I want to do is write and it’s the one thing that really makes me happy

Jo Rowling thought the same thing… writing Harry Potter made her happy and it was all she wanted to do (the writing)…

perhaps my greatest issue and wall that I need to break through is the fact I don’t know how to relate to people very well… I guess that comes with the fact that I spend so much time on my own, so naturally I’m not good around people… I write well, but in part, its my way of compensating of not being able to speak my mind

half the time I don’t know what to talk to people about, how to start a conversation because I’m afraid that they won’t be interested in anything I have to say…
like I said, this infatuation isn’t doing me any favors except occasionally fueling my writing… I had the same problem with Prince because I thought people wouldn’t understand him or my reasons for looking up to him as much as I did (still do, actually, but he’s not the biggest thing on my mind)

last night after seeing that hot samba with Caitlynn and Pasha, I got in the mood to listen to that track “I wanna melt with U”… wow, just as hot and spicy as I remember… listening to that and “The Max”
and I was worried that I’d fallen off the wagon again and didn’t want to listen to Prince anymore

I actually went on a limb on the way back from the shore and listened to “Ice Cream Castles”… the entire album with the exception of one track… but yeah, it was nice chilling out with Morris Day for a change…  a good change of pace, definitely.
He was another big thing for me, but didn’t last nearly as long as any of this other stuff… maybe for 2 months, at most, he weighed heavily on my mind, helped me get through a purple slump and there was a bit of rivarly there.

but ultimately, he’s the kind of guy where they’re best left in the decade/time of their greatest infamy… and in his case, where he was the finest. Between 1981 and 1988… anything after that, he’s not quite as… doesn’t ooze as much, I guess sexyness, or that whole cool-cat attitude as much as he used to.

my tastes are unusual for someone of my age, so I find it hard to discuss things with people… at least with my friends, they tend to be cool with whatever and luckily we share some of the same interests… like my friends Sam and Dave love Glee… I love Glee and am quite crazy about it whenever its airing new episodes and whatnot
and it was cool that Sam loved Charlie Bartlett, a movie I doubted most people had heard of… it was one of those things where you don’t realize it until you bring it out into the open

it was the same with my freshman roommate and Prince… I kinda “came out” as a Prince admirer to her and she agreed with many of my sentiments…
this resulted in a couple of situations relating to him and her… we discussed Purple Rain and UTCM on AIM chat and thought she might like UTCM… so I kinda suggested that we watch it together…

what resulted was somewhat of a slumber party set-up… not that we talked all that much during the movie, though she did make some comments and reacted to this and that… that was when I’d just gone over to my latest room assignment and picked this floor because it was where she was RA… I’d missed rooming with her, so any chance I had of being within proximity, I was definitely going to take

I might be overthinking with all this and I believe I have had this discussion already. I’m still a little on the fence about whether maybe she was an object of bi-curiosity for me or maybe I was feeling a little possessive, maybe… like she was my first friend in a brand new place and I kinda wanted to hold onto that friendship. Almost in a way that’s unhealthy… not so much that I was stalking her or anything really weird like that, but when she was around, I wanted to be with her. In essence, she’s a fascinating person, but she is just such a sweetheart. The kind that would be there for you no matter what, like if you got into a rough situation, she’d probably be sensitive enough to help you through it.

I have very few girlfriends that I feel like I can lean on in a big way and neither her nor Sam have really been around these past couple months. I’d be on Facebook posting on their wall or sending them messages… I haven’t heard anything from “Sarah” (who will be codename for my roommate from now on) in ages. She was on Facebook chat maybe 8-9 months ago and she said that she was on her way out, just was on to check her messages. I guess whatever publishing company she’s working for in Philly is keeping her busy cuz she’s almost never on…

the idea kinda popped into my head that if it were a publishing house that worked with my type of stories, that’d be both perfect and highly creepy if I’m going there for those reasons… but unfortunately it seems to be in the area of academic journals and non-fiction

Between Sam and Sarah, I think I have the best girlfriends in the world, but their availability isn’t what I’d like it to be… this coming from a person who hates telephones, lol… I could call Sam, but I’m never in the mood… as if its hard enough for me to give Kirby a call and that’s under the category of more than just reaching out for help… something I’m still very disinclined to attempt

I could very well launch into a conversation today where I tell my mom that sometimes I feel like Craig in that movie last night… and it’s true that I do feel like I need help sometimes, like I need to talk to someone… but it’s the whole fear of being looked at differently that’s kinda holding me back… well, not kinda, it totally is

so anyway, there were two occasions, both Prince-related where I’d go to Sarah’s room to suggest a movie night… with Purple Rain night, it was absolutely insane… cuz I was waiting around all day/night (shows my lack of social life at the time ) for her to return to the dorms. Then she had to take a shower and told me that she’d come by to let me know she was ready to go…
this shower took place around 10pm, so we were up until 1am watching Purple Rain, in essence

patience became a virtue of mine around that time… it got really ridiculous after a while and I don’t think anyone pushed the limits of my patience more than Kirby. But once he was around or whatever was on my mind was resolved, I automatically felt better…
it’s kinda like an adrenaline rush that builds up and leads to an abundance of endorphins that made me feel like I was lighter than air… it was to the point in April when not even puddles several inches deep could damper my spirits… what is it with Kirby and my socks being wet anyways…

I’ll try to segue this discussion about Sarah into my MTV discussion, which I’d been kinda trying to get to, but you know, a lot of side-tracking

I’d met a bunch of interesting people in my life and I’m lucky enough to consider them my friends. Sarah’s definitely up there because her vast area of interests blew me out of the water. It’s hard to believe someone my age (technically she’s a year and a couple months younger) could appreciate the things that she does, the really old things in history and arts.

She’s petite, blonde and blue eyes with the round face that I think is a key ingredient to the handful of girls that… yeah, maybe I see in a different light.
She’s a ballerina so she definitely has that short, thin, slender build going on.
Her interests lie in so many areas and most of them exist in the old things you need to take time to appreciate… like she’s a big fan of 60’s music (The Beatles specifically), her favorite song is “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John and she likes Shakespeare and has interests and is very knowlegable about the history of English royalty

if the opportunity should come about where I write anything about my friends from college, I’d definitely love to incorporate her into some of that…
she and Kirby are among those most interesting people and there are quite a few things they could inspire in stories I could write. It’s just a matter of finding out the actual plot

Okay, so that doesn’t really connect to MTV, but I’m tired of putting it off…
plus, my folks are probably gonna come up here any second to drag me back downstairs. I’d kinda been up here all day… like between 10am-12pm, and then since 2:30 after I took the dog out for a walk

if I had no reservations at all, I’d definitely read through the entirity of Harry Potter in the next day or two… maybe even today if I went without stopping. But I’d like to drag it out so it doesn’t end so quickly. Enjoy it while I can, that sort of thing

MTV turned 30 on Monday. We were heading back from the shore, listening to Sirius/XM’s 80’s station. And they were playing the first 24 hours of MTV (the songs that went with the videos they played)… I didn’t realize until they started talking that it really was the anniversery… 30 years, man that feels like a long time and I wasn’t even there for all of it.

My judgement: 1981 was a strange year for music… I only knew a handful of the songs and most of them sounds like the psychodelic 60’s getting a second wind. Seems to me that the 80’s hadn’t quite defined itself as a decade yet. Where you hear all of the Linn-drums and synthesizers coming out

then I looked online and the American Idol blogger from Yahoo! posted a very disturbing article… at least that’s what I thought of the contents…
all the more reason for me to have lack of faith in my generation.

It would seem that MTV didn’t even celebrate its own birthday. The entire day was just like any other… all of the really trashy reality shows… a couple names that pop up are The Real World (or some variation, I doubt its called that anymore), Jersey Shore, Teen Mom and Parental Control… I only know all these because I’m a channel surfer. Or rather, I’m a TV guide surfer… I click on menu and go through it all day to see what’s on, what’s coming on and what I need to keep an eye out for

St. Elmo’s Fire is airing on Saturday on the same channel that was nice enough to show “Chances are” for me so I could finally see it…
and they’re actually showing Zodiac tonight on that Indepedant Film Channel… ugh, I don’t want to sit through that again… the movie runs a little long, even without channels… and yeah, I pretty much came into it to see RDJ but I didn’t get nearly enough of the guy.
Plus I had lack of feeling afterwards, not nearly as bad as “Platoon” or any of Oliver Stone’s films but pretty darn close

I guess that was pretty much my concern about Paul Avery and how he died… I was afraid it’d be yet another overdose story. When actually it was due to emphyesma, which he’d been suffering under for years.

Tonight I’m gonna check into that Zooey Deschanel film (500) days of summer… which I didnt really want to see, but since I’m very keen to see her new series “New Girl” on Fox, why not

so… yeah, MTV didn’t celebrate its birthday and in the blog, she said that there are a bunch of people that probably didn’t know the channel existed until 2009 when Jersey Shore premiered…
I felt extremely ill after reading the horrible truth…

MTV used to be known as music television… where the hell is the music, because if there’s no music, they really should change the name of the place… as far as I’m concerned, it’s heyday was in the 80’s and nothing had graced its airwaves of that magnitude since.

MTV was huge at the time because… well, music videos were yet another way to sell records. Artists could put them together to promote their works, get their names out there and… bam… it pretty much solidified the careers of Prince and Michael Jackson… probably broke down the color barrier that had existed for a long time…
people didn’t really appreciate colored artists except for colored people… MTV kinda made them more accessible to all races

probably the strangest example of the opposite phenomenon… I don’t know if it broke his career… but people heard Rick Astley singing “Never gonna give you up” and they thought he was this big strong black guy… or at least thought he looked different than he did… then the video showed them what he looked like and it was like a WTF moment…

same went for Hall & Oates, though I think that change of opinion or being hipped to the truth occurred when they released an album cover with their pictures. People were under the impression that they were so heavy into the R&B stuff that they had to be a couple of black guys or at least Hall had to be, the guy who sang the majority of the lead tracks

on Sirius, someone made the interesting comment that people shouldn’t take the videos to be literal interpretations of the songs by the artists… sometimes its just to sell something but wasn’t what the artist had in mind when they wrote the song…
Prince’s “Raspberry Beret” begs me to differ… Prince wrote and directed all of the stuff in that video and I’ll bet that bits and pieces of it were his exact vision

Yeah, kids today don’t know what they’ve got with all this garbage… music videos were the hottest thing back in the day, like something people hadn’t seen anything like before… and with the really good ones (and even the really bad ones), they stay with people for years… imagery accompanying the audio components of the song… you can’t really ask for too much more, especially if you’re a big music fan the way I am

MTV probably was what solidified me as a music fan. It exposed me to so much… back in the days I can’t remember… aw hell, thanks dad… it was his method of babysitting… turn on MTV and I’m set to go for a long time

makes me think about how RDJ confessed that his dad gave him his first joint when he was 8, 9 or 10… but then again, he doesn’t really fault his dad for the exposure cuz it was that time… and he was the product of the product of that generation

unlike several other things I have going on right now, music is probably the healthiest addiction I have going for me at the moment… mostly because it really isn’t one. I think of it as my anti-drug because it makes me feel good and takes the place of harmful substances that could produce the same effects but come with really bad side-effects (short and long term)

and I don’t necessarily have to listen to music every day… but I’m under the impression that if I literally went days without turning on the radio or listening to my iPod, I’d probably go crazy.
worst case scenario, I always have some song running through my head

certain images from those MTV music videos on that VHS tape stuck with me for years… I’ll listen to certain songs and remember the video…

Madonna’s videos were all pretty huge in my memories… The Bangles, especially cuz it was three in a row… but because I loved the video and the song, I had to see Less than Zero… without question.
what else… Belinda Carlisle a little bit… Prince’s 1999 video definitely… Michael Jackon’s Dirty Diana was probably the strangest song on there and because of it, I probably had reason to not like him… it certainly wasnt like any of his bigger hits…

but now that I’m older, I listen to it and actually get off on how amazing it is in parts… I can’t really go into it without recalling some of the choreography for Darling Nikki… all of the stuff that happens before he goes up and starts humping to mic, don’t get too far ahead on that one

Billy Idol stuck for me for a very long time and when I rewatched some of the footage, it was like one of those what the f*** was I thinking type of things… I like to think that I have higher tolerance for weirdness these days, but man, the dude’s psychotic… I know its part of the rocker, bad boy image, but the insanity level reaches a little high for me

probably one of my absolute favorites is for… not stairway to heaven… shoot… “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi… I remember the rain following down on set… the fact there was a lot of black and white lens used for this, the big hair… but probably what stuck with me most was at the final huge chorus, Bon Jovi is on a rig and he’s flying into the audience with his guitar…
that was an EPIC moment for me… good times

if anything, MTV was a reminder of what a great decade the 80’s was… why I wish I was alive to see and remember more of it… and pretty much the reason I loved the decade as a kid… now im totally checking into all kinds of nostalgia and movies are the 2nd biggest thing for me aside from the music.

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