Strong female role models

started writing this a couple days ago while I was away, didn’t have time to finish so I’ll finish the rest here
“as far back as I can remember, whenever I started picking out my own music developing my tastes, I seemed to lean more on boybands and male artists. They had soothing voices, great lyrics and just made me fall in love with them at every opportunity. Strangely enough, I checked my spreadsheet where I keep track of my music in record form (CD’s and CD-r’s)… last year when I did the list, I had an equal number of male and female artists..
that blew me away cuz I thought I was incredibly male biased.
but when push comes to shove, I tend to have a female artist for every male artist because one comes along every couple months/years and it helps even up the odds.
with most female singers, I pick out the ones to buy into based on heresay, airplay, and whether I saw something in that stood out, a special talent or a message in their lyrics I could relate to or want to incorporate into my being.
Britney and Christina were nothing more than popularity on the radio… I prefer Christina’s first album to anything she did afterwards because… I dunno… her vibratto or whatever that thing is where she stretches notes to go on forever… I swear I’d ask her to stop doing that if I could cuz that’s my greatest pet peeve with her. plus none of her other songs stand out to me, they are more individualist and idealistic than “Genie in a bottle” which I’ll forever be nostaglic about 😎
then I started to pick and choose after the boybands all broke apart.
3rd Faze and Play had toured with Dream Street so I checked in by association 3rd Faze provided part of the soundtrack for my junior year of high school… in part because I listen to them on the bus to and from school… but also in part cuz I went through a phase after seeing a couple college-made independant short films, I felt really ill after seeing one of them, a bit disturbing to a degree, though I can’t express why. blocked out a lot of the detail.
but I remember going to social studies, we had a sub, I felt sick, asked to go to the nurse and she told me to sit in the backroom to lay down for a while… that room was creepy because it was so dark and so hot, couldn’t see a thing, but it was intimidating. when she asked me what I wanted to do, I said I’d go back to class… just made the bell for my Physics class where we also had a sub… the nurse’s office put me off because of the dark room and the nurse was older, seemed to have little sympathy or give little leeway. I thought about being asked to go home early and I don’t think she’d let me if I really wanted to…
so there was maybe a couple months where my inner chemistry was never completely right… this intermingled with a couple of breakfast trips to IHOP where I could barely eat, so paranoid about throwing up… and there was another incident similiar when we went out to breakfast with my dad’s family and I didn’t feel right then either… wasn’t an IHOP either… the time finally passed when I wasn’t bothered anymore. But part of my coping or attempt to cope is to take my mind off the nausea by doing something else. I listened to a couple 3rd faze tracks and that helped a bit
and if I remember right, the singer/songwriter phase came next. Or at least Michelle Branch started it a year before… I’ve praised “the spirit room” so many times cuz it was something I got on a whim that worked out really well 😎 her songs seemed to be along the lines of what my mind was thinking especially when it came to 2 people “David” and Jonas, whose eyes he inspired
Ashlee Simpson is who I’m here to kinda discuss, but at that time, Lindsay Lohan had a couple albums as did Raven-Symone… wanted to get the song from the Princess Diairies 2 soundtrack (didn’t need the rest of them, lol)… only listened to it a couple times. Raven and Lindsay were also roommates at some point, trying to find girls my age that were kinda role models or we at least shared some of the same thoughts.
after that, it’s otherwise been mostly lucky and guesswork… until I saw Katy Perry perform “I kissed a girl” on “So you think you can dance” and heard “Teardrops on my guitar” on the radio… that was one of those magical moments where you can feel the start of something big. its not often I hear a good song like that on the radio and I’m thinking ‘who’s that’ and ‘wow, this is why i love the medium of music’… Taylor Swift has become someone I’d been able to relate to as if she was the best friend/sister I never had… the way she describes her emotions and the way he feels about the boys in her life felt like pages out of my own life
Katy Perry was one of a few parts of a movement where I try to better myself by listening to and surrounding myself with strong women, so I can take from their strength. But if anything, Katy Perry was a daring move, I felt like a rebel because her lyrics were provovocative… though not seen on that album nearly as much as “Teenage Dream” and several of its tracks… which are amazing, I must say.
Avril Lavinge fits somewhat into the punk category with Ashlee Simpson, which was why my friend Christine recommended her to me… at that time in high school, she was sporting long brown hair with the same blonde highlights Avril was rocking at the time. Regarding Avril, though, I think I’m gonna have to wait for a greatest hits because I’m sick of Complicated, not crazy about Sk8rboy, but I love “I’m with you” (which was with me in the early stages of my Downey phase, still somewhat in progress, I guess, lol)… I love “happy ending” and already have “nobody’s home” on mp3, lol… plus a couple tracks on her 3rd album are good, so I think I’m gonna wait… but she has some of those characteristics in her personality and her music that I usually respond to with other artists”
Just to make sure I don’t miss anybody, I’ll check my spreadsheet where I’ve listed all the female artists in my collection…
and apologies in advance if any part of the rest of the entry comes off insensitive, hormonal or whatnot…
not particularly in music, women bitch all the time about PMS… and up until the past two years, I’d only dealt with occasional pain which doesn’t last more than maybe the first 48 hours
irritability and emotional/hormonal outbursts, nauturally that’s the one that the men in our lives dread… kind of a double-edged sword too because there’s PMS and some of the same stuff plagues the household after the arrival of a new bundle of joy… I suppose that’s a little better than the dreaded postpartum depression…
yikes, and I thought being depressed was really bad
Over the years, I’ve kinda found myself extra emotional during… whatever time it is… and there’s usually a connection to this unfortunate symptom
certainly, its one of those things that people blame on Adam & Eve, repercussions of them getting chucked out of the Garden of Eden…
ironically, there were a couple of incidents over the past 7 months… one was the night of “Less than Zero” which partially explains why I cried myself to sleep over Julian 😕 not that I wouldn’t of anyway…
exhaustion and fatigue have come with the territory once or twice recently, the past few months 😕 not sure I can completely blame PMS for that either, but whenever its convenient
I found myself in a blind panic 10 minutes ago and actually I’m still in a panic about it…
and I am gonna hope to God that this is another symptom and not as a result of my lack of exercise
women in all the commercials complain about “bloating” among a lot of many other things…
but the fact remains that maybe a week before we left for the shorehouse, I weighed myself at 145.6 pounds…
I’m now at 149 pounds and I’m on literally one incident away from either bouncing off the walls, screaming my head off or curling up in bed, wanting to crawl under a rock and die
it certainly would explain why my pants are feeling a little snug around the waist lately… and I think I only have 2-3 pairs that are remotely comfortable… I think I might as well wear the super stretchy denim pants I have 7 days a week :sigh:
I’ll have to see what happens on Wednesday, which is a pretty dreaded anniversery, I must say… never thought I’d get to that particular point, but yeah, I’m freaking out about it.
How $%&^in superficial can I possibly be? I’m in better shape than a couple of my friends and I’m bitching about being close to 150 pounds
Guess that’s part of the reason there was a short period of time I considered Raven-Symone a bit of a role model. She was a little larger than what’s considered “normal” and was rockin’ that look. In fact, there was an entire episode of her show “That’s so Raven” that drew attention to this. She designed an outfit for a fashion show and she was told to hem it so it’d fit the model they picked out, believing she wasn’t the right size to be a model.
Everything worked out for the best in the end. She rocked the outfit alongside the model, who even said she wasn’t as skinny as they’d like her to be.
I think I’m freaking most about the fact that I’m going to need some new clothes. Surely getting two pairs of pants isn’t going to be too much to ask for :shrug:
then of course there’s the fear that I’m gaining weight like crazy and soon I’ll outgrow all my clothes…. maybe my depression (that really hasn’t plagued nearly as much lately) has changed my metabolism around so I’m not shedding as many pounds as I should
my folks are gonna be off to their Hawaiian cruise in a couple days and tomorrow we’ll take care of making sure we have all kinds of supplies so my sister & I will be set to look after the house on our own for a couple weeks…
I’m sincerely hoping that I’ll be able to spend part of it working to shed a couple pounds… $#%&… I swear if I overthink this, and I swear I’m getting there fast, it won’t be anybody any good…. by learning some choreography or at least working some out…
the downside is that I’ll have to keep it off and there’s no way that just 2 weeks of me doing a strenuous 1 hour work out and not-so-strenuous 20 minute work out is going to be enough… diet and exercise is key and my diet was never the problem before… so it’s gotta be the exercise thing…
my chosen “professional” isn’t going to be doing me any favors, so I’m kinda stuck 😕
where I was,
My spreadsheet…
ridiculous… how the hell is my sister still less than 120 pounds when she’s done less activity since graduation than I have… life sucks…
not even the fact she wishes her hair was straighter like mine is helping my self-esteem anymore
after we do all of our errands tomorrow, surely I’ll be able to shed a pound… between that and the end of those horrid week of PMS winding down
total artists: 14
total albums: 22
the ones in my collection include, as I already mentioned, Britney & Christina, Michelle Branch for “The Spirit Room,” Raven-Symone…
for the majority, I own only one album, a few I have 2, and in the rare case of two, 3.. really rare, 4 (Britney, but I only really have listened to “Circus”… I have my favorite tracks from the others on my own personal mix CD)
Nelly Furtado, I got only so I could have “Say it right” in my collection… was kind of a big song in the Spring of 2007… went to an outing with the bird-watching club one Saturday (Kirby among a few others) and that song played on the radio or off a mix tape a couple times… so of course I was up in my dorm playing it off my computer online…
kinda during the time where I thought he was a cool person to hang out with, before everything got so out of proportion.
There are a good amount of songs on here with distinct Latin flavors with a touch of Timbaland’s mad producing skills… in a music industry addled with hip-hop, rappers and wannabes, he was one of the few that kind had something going on that I approved of. His duet with her, “Promiscious” was one of many good tracks I was digging the summer of 2006 around the same time as Rob Thomas’s “Ever the Same” and The Fray’s “Cable Car”… and of course it came to mind once or twice under a similar context… seeing as he’s with a different girl every couple months a little tongue in cheek joke there 
When she came around, she seemed like your girl-next-door type. “I’m like a bird” was her first big single a couple years back, like when I was in high school and I didn’t think much of it… just annoyed me whenever it came on cuz the first couple bars fooled me into thinking it was “Bye Bye Bye” lmao
speak of the devil, “Cable Car” is on the radio right now… The Fray really haven’t released many songs that I like much… I don’t understand “How to save a life” and am annoyed on principle cuz they used it during a Grey’s Anatomy commercial back in the day…
that show, like many on ABC, irk me for no apparent reason… well, “Lost” had its reasons (no wonder they could get off that damn island…) and “Desperate Housewives” too (so glad its the last season coming up… why all of those caniving [keniving? kaniving?] bitches have had the show on as long as they have is beyond me… all of them are equally horrible)… I do love “Castle,” and I’m hoping that the season opening tonight won’t have me detracting this…
last they left us, Kate Beckett found out that her boss was playing both sides and was helping cover up the tracks as to why her mom was killed years ago… he died and at his funeral, she got shot, so hopefully they don’t kill her off…
there wouldn’t be a series without Kate Beckett, she’s the inspiration for Rick Castle’s newest line of detective novels
I’m not sure whether I want to be Rick Castle AND Kate Beckett on my list of favorite characters… I definitely like him a lot, for multiple reasons… so far I’m up to… or right, Gregory House is another 😎
Guerrero (played Jackie Earle Haley)- Human Target
Dwight Schrute (played by Rainn Wilson)- The Office
Rick Castle (played by Nathan Fillion)- Castle
Gregory House (played by Hugh Laurie)- House M.D.
and of course, how can I forget
Larry Paul (played by Robert Downey Jr.)- Ally McBeal
and I gotta wait until October for
Shawn Spencer (played by James Roday)- Psych
for the longest time, the first season rather, I was hoping that they weren’t going to turn Castle and Beckett into a romantic couple cuz its so cliché and they’d done it a million times already with seemingly polar opposites (hence why its cliché).
now of course I’m gunning for it, pretty messed up if they spend a couple more seasons jerking us around, teasing us as to whether or not it’ll happen
as with Psych, they spent a couple seasons teasing about Shawn and Juliette getting together and I think they finally had (hilariously, James Roday and Maggie Lawson are dating in real life), last I checked
and there’s
Kurt Hummel (played by Chris Colfer)- Glee
Billy (played by David Yost)- The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
strangely, all of these favorite character are guys,
but I’ll be seeing how that show “New Girl” goes… cuz Jess might join the list soon enough.
The commercials are already showing Zooey Deschanel to be completely adorable
one article I read called her “totally adorkable” lol
the rest of the list:
Lindsay Lohan
Ashlee Simpson (at some point I’ll get around to her, the whole reason I started the entry in the first place)
Aly & AJ
Jordin Sparks
Taylor Swift
Katy Perry
Bria Valente (eh…. not sure if that really counts now cuz I’d only listened to “Elixir” once or twice)
Lady Gaga
and I think that Wendy & Lisa deserve a worthy mention :shrug:
why not, their first album is on my iPod, has been for a couple years now and I’m still listening to it… only its become more of a sleep aid than something to help me relive trekking through my college campus by day or night
my infatuation of their music started a good 3 years ago around this time… VH1 Soul was nice enough during their “purple” Labor day to show hours of not only Prince’s videos, but his proteges as well. They did “Hollywood Express” and “Waterfall,” the song that had me sold from the first time I saw the video and heard it 😎
ah, what a great album…
with it, I think they proved that they can stand on their own as their own artists without Prince providing any vocals or songwriting at all… they’d highlighted his music for years without really getting recognition for it (other than from the hardcore fans, some of which fault Prince for not giving them the much needed credit… heck, they could very well be the reason why Parade is one of my favorite albums cuz seeing as he was so busy filming the movie, they were in the studio finishing the rough cuts of their songs that he’d written/recorded)….
their debut album proved to me especially that they had a great deal of skill in making things sound good musically and lyrically
perhaps the strangest part is their lyrics… most of which I don’t think make much sense and I didn’t really peg myself on learning them… not in the “nose to the grindstone” sort of way.
something I’d kinda been faulting Robert regarding The Futurist since I got it…
most of them, I’d say, are straight forward with the girls… the only lyrics I’m kinda working out are the final verse in “Sideshow”… do any of the names they drop have anything to do with each other?
at least they see fit to
a) use proper grammar in most cases, and
b) announicate so you can’t mistake words for other words that sound NOTHING like what the actual lyric is… “hang on” sounding like “hello” is one thing… but spreading sounding like a non-descript word that doesn’t sound like proper English… I’m still kinda messed up over that one…
at the end of the day, their songs all sound wonderful no matter what the words actually say
but I am a bit of a grammar snob, lol
Wendy & Lisa aren’t just great songwriters, they are musical ARTISTS… and they really do know what they’re doing out there… so they are definitely within the same circle of people I readily listen to like Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift cuz they not only are really creative, but write their own music and play instruments…
sure, might seem a little short-sighted to do all this raving when I have only listened to one album
but sometimes that’s all I need for a good impression about somebody.
“The Spirit Room” was such a stand-out that even though I’m disappointed that “Hotel Paper” didn’t come off quite as good or to my tastes, one strong album is all it takes to make me a believer. Especially when it helps fuel my creativity.
Kinda forgot for a while that I bought Jordin’s first album.
After a while, I think I got sick of the first single “Tattoo”… and if I ever made another Pokémon-inspired soundtrack, like a part 2 to a disc chock full of songs that inspired my fanfiction and of course my entertaining ideas of first love…
“just like a tattoo, I’ll always have you”
then the rest of the songs have their own little place in my years in college.
“One step at a time” came around at two specific moments… one was on the way back from my first/only college bash (I stuck it out in uncharted waters for an hour and left with one of my roommates cuz I didn’t know when the next “bus” would be leaving that station… wouldn’t be until later that morning, so good move on my part) and one was one of many trips to the field station with my chosen chaffeur (wouldn’t have it any other way)
“No Air” is just plain incredible 😎 always thought so, always will… to hell with my feelings about Chris Brown (wasn’t crazy about him before or after whatever the hell helped between him and Rihanna), great duet, great song
then there were a couple that had me thinking about different things. A little college romance here and there… the song “Freeze” sounded like it belonged at senior prom, but not sure if it was Bella & Edward’s or the dance in one of my stories where the “break-up song” was Lindsay’s “Over”
but I think after the first half dozen or so, I kinda lose interest in the rest of the album.
Something like what happens in the “Millennium” album… love the first 8 tracks and don’t really like anything after “The One”
I could go WAY off topic with this so I’ll cut it short now.
But one day I ought to discuss the following:
one album can sometimes define an entire artist in my eyes & ears, everything from the sound, the vibe, the look… I think of the artist and its what comes to mind… and it could be the first or it could be the most recent… it always varies with each artist. That would be a pretty long discussion that I’ll save for another night
Aly & AJ, as most probably know :rolls eyes:, are a duo among many acts spun off of Disney Channel stars. But in the company of… aw hell, I can’t think anyone else right now… they’re among the most legit cuz they write their own stuff and play instruments
I believe I got the album around the same time as JMac’s 2nd, his “defining” album (for now, lol)… yep, I did
I liked a couple of their soundtrack songs that got a lot of video play on Disney Channel, plus the new track “Chemicals React”… luckily, they released a deluxe version of “Into the rush” that had a lot of really good songs on it that I wouldn’t have checked into otherwise.
I might have mentioned a couple tracks in passing in the earlier days of this place where Prince was my ideal focus.
I think of that one song and remember everything coming together on an AMV I saw on YouTube set this song featuring Sesshomaru from the animé series InuYasha (the symbol of this very blog, actually)…
when I started writing my pseudo-fanfiction on Prince based mostly on my suspicions and impressions of him before I knew much of anything… the song “Shine” really reflected how I saw him, the lyrics are ideal
Orianthi hasn’t had enough heavy rotation for me to fully incorporate her into any discussion.
I just know that I got one album and she had released a longer version of “Believe” that I missed out on getting… why the hell wasn’t that around when I bought the first album… anyways, I think I might have to double-dip on that.
She truly brings the rocker edge into music, a rarity among women. She gives off the impression that this isn’t a girl you wanna miss with. Plus it’d be a while so I’d be too rusty on anything to discuss her to any degree of respect [thats officially on my to-do list]
I guess, in the interest of saving time and non-repetition, I’ll let the comments about Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga slide for a bit. I see myself in both of them.
But I believe that I’d been trying to dig into the tougher side of women for years, getting a feel for it, drawing from their strength and so far, it has only worked to a certain degree. There is something lacking in the execution.
Maybe it’s just that part of me, part of most people too, that wants to try something different every now and then, test different waters. That’s kinda what Ashlee Simpson was part of back in the day of high school… boy, I’m not sure in which year my emotional turmoil was at the highest
9th grade was kind of intense in two specific areas and that didn’t last nearly as long as stuff later on… then of course Dream Street took the stress off almost as often as they complicated things for me emotionally and mentally I think the first time I found myself depressed in a somewhat serious way
10th grade, most of the stress came from “David” and me not wanting to be a complete fool in front of him… probably the most relaxed year grade-wise, though 12th grade was too
11th grade, a lot of great stuff (concert choir talents, musical, drama class/shows), a lot of not-so great stuff (getting three C’s on a single report card, three rounds of SATs)… but I think the good stuff more than made up for all the stress that came from the horrible stuff…
12th grade… grading was pretty relaxed, no honors classes, loved concert choir though it lacked a little something…
between 11 and 12, I’m not sure where my depression was worse… I had my ups and downs and most of it was in my mind… Drew was responsible for a lot of that me and my goddam emotions…
it got so bad at some points where I listened to one or two songs on “Autobiography” and would refuse to listen to them cuz they always brought me down
there’s testing the waters and there’s plunging in…
I tested it with Ashlee Simpson, and liking what I found, accepting whatever came with it…
I didn’t really do anything daredevil-like until Prince came around, then I kinda broke all the rules
I figured I could check into a couple of acts here and there to plunge further into intensity and weirdness. and I came to find quickly that weirdness suited me well
Katy Perry was provocative, certainly not the kind of stuff I grew up with. On the other hand, Prince’s music helped me grow up emotionally and mentally… I was able to handle a lot more things that otherwise made me squeamish or just dodge out of sight
Lady Gaga is as weird and outrageous as you can these days… and there’s something there I definitely started responding to. Still am, actually. And to be honest, I don’t really get any of the weirdness in the music. The music is brilliant as far as I’m concerned, a quality that’s very lacking in the music industry these days. The weirdness comes with the music videos, the performances and of course, The Monster Ball itself is outrageous.
A couple of things and minutes later, I came to realize I’d developed a tough skin so a lot of that stuff bounces off me, doesn’t bother me too much.
12th grade, for me, came down to three artists/albums:
Lindsay Lohan- Speak
Ryan Cabrera- Take it all away
Ashlee Simpson- Autobiography
so many songs that it was impossible to make another mix as I’d done in 10th and 11th grade. My senior year is defined by all three of those artists in different ways
time passes and with each second, Ryan Cabrera becomes less significiant. Not that he was HUGELY significant with the exception of a couple songs.
“True” is a beautiful acoustic set and Drew came to mind once or twice when I’d listen to it
Lindsay Lohan kinda proved to be a bit of a punk artist in that first album. It certainly wasn’t as spotless and squeaky-clean as what she did for her Disney movies punk rock with a bit of pop thrown in.
I’m thinking it’s mostly because of my nervousness around one or two tracks… I don’t think I’d listened to “Autobiography” in at least 4 years, maybe 5 or 6…
when I heard she was starting a musical career after her sister Jessica, I was excited to see where it’d go. Then I heard from my friend Christine it was going in a much different direction, kinda along the lines of Avril Lavinge. So I figured, I’ll take a stab at it.
Plus the fact she and Ryan Cabrera were dating at the time made it convenient
I’m also a bit ashamed to admit, eh… I was terrible when it came to actually picking up her albums, as in literally picking them up out of the CD case and putting them in my CD player.
I think I owned her 2nd album for a year plus before I actually listened to it
and its a good album too
anyway, another thing that set Ashlee apart was her dying her hair.
You look at the album cover and 80’s fans probably think of Joan Jett with that look. That name came to mind maybe a couple songs in last Thursday when I listened to it.
as if I remember correctly, she dyed her hair a different color for each album she did. It was back to blonde for “I am me” and she was a red-head on the cover of her third album (which I never got around to getting… why bother if I was so lazy about listening to the 2nd one)
I cranked the album up a few days ago for the first time in years. Little by little, its coming back and I felt like I was being transported back to my school bus in 12 grade. I’m still this calculating, but to kill time on the bus, I took up bringing my CD player for the commute… and even calculated based on track length what to listen to and given certain points in the journey what I had time to listen to if I had an extra few minutes.
It was also to isolate myself so I wouldn’t be obligated to really chat with anyone on the school bus and once or twice, people had… for whatever reason, I guess to figure out why I don’t
once or twice, I got to thinking
“oh shoot, I used to have nightmares all the time of missing the school bus”… and once or twice I either had or thought I had… geesh, I was really dramatic back in the day…
I swear I must have some sort of disorder similar to Asperberger’s, the way I had to keep things scheduled so I’d be comfortable enough to move around in places… and something as simple as misplacing something or missing a bus could rattle me for any length of time
I still am kinda like that sometimes… no wonder my verbal communication skills suck so much
but I was reminisicing with the whole atmosphere that high school presented to me every day. Nothing negative broke, though, just everything I felt on the commute every day. Even getting a handle on how the hallways felt to walk through and such
just checked her Wikipedia page…
wow, I forgot she was in 7th Heaven… not sure how/why I got hooked on that show, maybe because one of my friends was a fan… and through it, I became a fan of David Gallagher (which got me interested in seeing one movie and engrossed in the Kingdom Hearts series, as he does the voiceover for Riku)
she’s 2 years older than me, recently divorced from her husband (didn’t know they separated, it was pretty darn recent) and she’s coming out with another album that’s still in the early stages… guess that means I got time
so my reaction at the end of the album, or so towards the end of the album, I was thinking “oh shoot, I wish there were more songs” because I was really digging and loving the vibe I was getting… could go for more of that but with different music
The punk edge is mostly in her voice, which I had nothing in my collection like that at the time… plus the first album I bought that had a curse word in it… well, maybe two, the 2nd is kinda minor (both are in the title track).
didn’t get around to saying this earlier, yes, I know she’s a bit of a running joke because of what happened on Saturday Night Live (your chances of being taken seriously as a celebrity are kinda demolished when Family Guy spoofs your mishap in any way) where she was caught lip-synching, which led to an incident of being booed off the stage at the Orange Bowl not too long after the initial incident
I’ll take on all that bad karma and heresay the way I do with Lindsay, I don’t care.
The title track blew me away the first time and still does.
I remember hearing “Pieces of me” on the radio (and Radio Disney) so many time that I got really sick of it… not so much anymore, I’d gotten over that
I remember hearing “Shadow” on the radio for the first time, almost to the detail of where I was (pulling out of a Taco Bell parking lot)… none of the circumstances match up with my life but it feels like my type of song that fits me just right
and of all the tracks “La La” is the only one I’m not sure I can stomach listening to multiple times. Just never ceased to annoy me for whatever reason… maybe a little too hardcore for me in places, especially where she’s screeching the chorus
(which reminds me, Carly Patterson did a floor routine to this song in a special where gymnasts and figure skaters were performing to live pop music… and her being a fan was part of the reason why I got the album)
“Love makes the world go around,” I can remember pulling into the school’s front lot around that time
then for whatever reason back in the day, I decided to mess around with the order of songs to suit my mood.
“Better off,” I felt, better suited me at the end of the school day, rather than beginning it. So I’d listen to “Love me for me,” which is among the most punky tracks on the album… while I was walking down the halls to my locker made me feel like such a bad-ass, if only in my mind, lol
an entire day passed between when I listened to one half of the album then the next… and I couldn’t quite remember my other sequencing of songs. I think I mixed up two, but after remedying that, yeah, its all good
“Better off” is something I can definitely chill out with, especially when celebrating leaving the classroom at the end of the day.
“Unreachable” had to grow on me a bit, if I remember right… and now its just got this air about it that attracts me to it without question… just a great track… (usually I would chill with it while waiting for the bus to leave the school)
“Surrender” has more of the punk edge in it, a bit rebellious
“Nothing new” I remember being one of my favorites that I always looked forward to listening to… love just about everything about it
it’s also the last big high where there’s any bit of upbeatness or happiness
Because of one specific song I won’t name, I tend to think of 11 as one of my lucky numbers in most cases. And usually track 11 is my favorite or among my favorites on the specific album (I’ve found a few incidences where that’s not the case)
“Giving it all away” is among the track 11’s that have the opposite reaction….
for whatever reason, some lyrics felt too real and I could feel myself sinking whenever I listened to it.
Especially the final verse
“Undiscovered” took me a while to get into the first couple times… and in most cases, I rarely got a chance to listen to it… my best chance would be me walking from one end of the street to where my house is… it has running time close to 5 minutes, so that’s a lot of time to kill… it also doesn’t follow the usual “verse-chorus-verse-chorus” pattern of usual songwriting
so after whatever time passes, it seems that some albums never lose their touch and it never hurts to dig up old favorites

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