Dream Street sentimentality: The Biggest Fan- part 1

Okay, I managed to make it through the soundtrack in one piece (hence the part one…)

I have yet to figure out if I want to see the movie today… double-dose on Dream Street and risk an overdose of depressing sentimentality, but at the same time, I’d be getting all of the harsh stuff over with so I can stop worrying about it.

Yep, no matter who it is that it’s about, I always go through bits of crazyness and it’s always different. I mean, how the hell do I manage that? How can I relate so differently to so many people even though they have made me lose my mind at some point?

Clearly, Dream Street… oh wow, combined with raging teenage hormones that come with… well you know, growing up, puberty, whatever the hell else…

skipping ahead a bit… Prince, I am extremely happy to say, hasn’t done more harm than good… his music has enriched my life more than brought it down in shambles, shredded it up… the only negative thing that really came out of it was prince.org… after getting away from that place (which I only visit like once or twice a month to see what’s going on), the rest of it was pretty easy
after Prince came into my life, I stopped listening to Dream Street… finally decided to let go, give up and move on… more on the moving on, part, actually :shrug:

I’m so relieved in my knowing that Prince was a healthy obsession for me to have I’ve had so much drama in my life simply sitting on the sidelines and not really being out & about

then of course, RDJ was the latest and that has gone to both ends of the spectrum… except it never reached critical mass, leading to a major crash and therefore I can no longer spend time with him… the way that it kinda happened with Prince, after going at it hard for 3 years, I finally burned out but I’m making my comeback.
While on Robert, though, I think he has done more harm than good, if only by a 51%/49% margin… put a face to the monster that is addiction, making a comeback, plus a great apprecation for the art of film… from Charlie Chaplin & his silent films to independant films in general…

I’ve always kinda gone against the norm, not really picking up interests that are trending.
The other boybands were trending at a given time.
at present, Lady Gaga is most certainly trending much the way Prince was in the 80’s
and between Iron-Man, Sherlock Holmes and whatnot, I guess Robert is trending right now too, at least a lot more than he was years ago :shrug: I just happened to come in at a good time in his career, for which I’m extremely grateful. Makes it easier to manage all the drama because its all in the past… thank god, I cannot say that enough

Prince only “worked me” a tiny bit when it comes to bits and pieces and he might be part of the reason I’d withdrawn further rather than spending more time out in the open

I feel so bad about it now, but Dream Street REALLY worked me back in the day.
In 9th grade I was getting C’s in Geometry and Biology, I believe they were honors courses… and I never got C’s before.

the year wasn’t entirely brutal
I had a couple of friends, the ones I’d had over the past couple years, but my god, I remember that being such a horrible year and I don’t quite remember why…

maybe its best if I don’t remember… I’m good at repressing unpleasant memories and there might have been reasons for that…
I would like to believe that Dream Street helped me “survive” more than they brought me down. In the entirity of the 2001-02 school year, I’d say that if I combined all of the days that they brought me down, I’d get maybe two complete weeks at the most :shrug:

I think what I did that year was that I made a ritual out of bringing my CD player with me, listening to it on the bus to and from school… and I had done it ever since with all kinds of people, though never to the same capacity… what I am saying, of course did… 3rd Faze and Lindsay Lohan’s “Speak” album… I think Greg Raposo’s solo album also made for good company, it helped me really get into the music, which did take a while. I didn’t quite get him and his sound

my young naive mind had expected something similiar to “back in the day”… but yeah, judging from his version of “Jennifer Goodbye” on the soundtrack, he wanted to break out of the pop scene and really put together his own sound. His really good delivery on that song (which I managed to follow quite well, I remembered all of the little bits and pieces he changed on it) really examplifies all that
except for the lyrics, the back-up vocals and so on, the song felt completely different to the original version… and it was a good different.
Except of course the fact it sounds like… well, duh, a goodbye song

“This Time” was just chock full of irony… “this time I’m gonna find a way to hold onto the love that I thought we lost forever… to make it better, let’s stay together this time”…
for crying out loud, you guys have broken up by the time the album came out, you’re not gonna be together anymore…

I had wanted to go into a lot more background and whatnot before I actually started to rehash the album I just listened to… what more melodrama can I put on top of all of it…
:sigh: not sure what else can be said

nope, I’m not gonna go on Wikipedia right now to look up Berny & Kevin, their songwriters… I’m not losing this page for anything…

I thought a couple years ago that there was something in Britney Spears’s music that made it impossible to get out of your head… Max Martin has such a way with combining catchy beats and lyrics together where they’re just so darn catchy… as if there was some subliminial message in the music that hypnotizes you…
I hadn’t really been cool with any of Britney’s albums all the way through, but because the two singles were so catchy, I had to get her “Circus” album… turned out to be one of the best purchases (or rather requests, it was a Christmas gift) I ever made… maybe I was trying to fight it off (sorta) because she qualified under the artists that I wanted to weed out of my collection, the ones that didn’t play instruments or write their own music

I could always got into “Circus” at another time… but strange as it sounds, maybe not so much… the image I get when I listen to it, aside from the title theme… is Britney Spears donning a Vanity/Apollonia persona with the camisole, lingerie (I can’t even spell that, goes to show I don’t own any), tights look… lol… the kind of girl who operates in a strip club, but without the stripping part
strangely it works and it helps pull the whole look together between the music and album cover its quite amazing actually

anyways, I’m starting to get under the impression that there is something in Dream Street’s music that has made me addicted to it… and has made it so that I never sick of the music. I could just as easily listen to the same 13 (well, 16 if you include all the newly released songs on the soundtrack album) songs over and over again without getting sick of them…
as long as I’m not forced to listen to the album repeatedly in a single span of time… seeing as the album is about… I dunno… 45-48 minutes long… 3 hours… so within that period of time where I stood in line at FYE at Quakerbridge mall, waiting to see them, I had to listen to the album about 4 times… damn, it felt like a lot more, like 6-7

now that I think about it, I think I actually remember they stopped at one point and played “With all my heart” on the airwaves as it was their newest song… but among all of the crowds of teenage girls in the room, I could barely hear it

“they say that all good things will come to those who wait”…
ahhhhhh… no kidding, fellas!!!

I learned that day that patience was a virtue, which helped prepare me for seeing JMac at Point Pleasant… at least the wait to meet him in person was only 45 minutes at most…
although I might have completely forgotten it at Six Flags where he made us wait for over an hour… maybe 2 hours… cuz it felt like forever before The Click Five came on (they were another source of obsession but it was so short lived that it barely counts among all the other stuff I’d thrown out here… whatever… that could be an entry for another day)

anyway… yeah, he made us wait for the opening act… then they must have played that Maroon 5 album 3 times before he came on… that was… ehhh… I dunno… it’s hard to say…
I have said that Jesse has disappointed me a couple of times, but I had forgiven and gotten past… made due with what he dished out the past other times…

but I think its safe to say… although I hate to do so… that the Six Flags concert was the only time Jesse had disappointed me… I don’t know if it was him or the sound system or what… but he sounded terrible… didn’t sound anything like he did on the “Beautiful Soul” album

I had managed to get past and make peace with the “Live” DVD concert because… well… the five of of them are just so infectious when they perform that they could have made me believe anything they wanted me to believe

ugh… I wanted to get JMac’s Beautiful Soul Live album for Christmas, hoping that with it, I’d be able to get used to the way he sounded live… I listened to it once and its been gathering dust ever since… and I feel horrible about it

its quite interesting that I haven’t made peace with that fact and I have managed to do so with his “Departure” album where a lot of the new stuff he did in it had me really worried… really worried that he had gone the way I didn’t want anyone from Dream Street to go… the same way mainstream music did around the time I came back to it

maybe it was the more mature lyrics that eventually wore me down… maybe just not playing that one hip-hop/rap track made things helluva lot easier

I was a fan of “Beautiful Soul” within… I dunno… I think it took me a good 2-3 listens…
“Right where you want me”… I think after the first time I listened to it, there were some highlights but the rest of it had me a little iffy… once I knew what to expect, not only did I fall in love with it, but it became that one album I could chill out to any day of the week. I won’t go as far to say that it became what Dream Street’s album was for me where I could listen to it everyday and not get sick of it

although I didn’t adopt the philosophy until Prince came along, they marked the first album I could listen to all the way through, I didn’t just stick to the singles… although… eh… any day when I wasn’t on the school bus, I could listen to it all the way through and enjoy the hell out of it…
but on the school bus, I always listened to the same songs … the same… let’s see… 6 songs, plus one extra song that I was either chilling to that week or whatever else came to mind…
Sugar Rush (after which I’d listen to the extra song), I say yeah, Matter of time… in the morning
then… I guess Sugar Rush… and the first three tracks in the afternoon (with or without the extra track, depending on the timing of the trip)

I guess I can start to do a little crossing over between this and that with the soundtrack album

there are 11 songs…
4 of them are by groups other than Dream Street… Ruby Blue, a band I can’t find on Wikipedia, did three songs (Fallin’ for you, what girls do, and Run away- my clear favorite this time around)… the 4th was Chris with Play

I already knew 4 songs quite well… as they were on the previous album… but they were all different from the original pressing… the single was a remix of the original… This Time was acoustic… then there was I say Yeah and Jennifer Goodbye where they were re-recorded after their voices changed

on another website… this is going back to days when there was dial-up internet which was SLOW… horribly slow… I found a couple of Dream Street tracks that were unreleased… I think I heard “with all my heart” once there but the quality was horrible.
meanwhile, I had downloaded two versions of “Baby I miss you”… the quality of the full version were pretty horrible, not nearly as bad as the other… but it was… very soft and muted… meanwhile, a clip of it with just the chorus was sharp…
“Taking me over” was a short clip that wasn’t the best quality, but on it was the first minute, ending with the end of the first chorus

I was so excited that “Taking me over” was the original version… and I was a little let-down that “baby I miss you” was re-recorded… but wow, it and “with all my heart” sounded like they could have been sung by an R&B group like Boyz II Men or even Chicago (“with all my heart” kinda felt like “you’re the inspiration” in a few places)

the most interesting thing I took away from the album was the atmosphere it created, it really brought me back to the first day that I heard it… It was one of those Christmas gifts that I spotted in a store in late November, early December, we bought and wrapped it up as a Christmas gift… :shrug: anyway… we were heading to my grandma’s, there was snow on the ground… so I was listening to it and I remembered that it was kinda like a winter album for me… images of a sunny day with snow on the ground came to mind… very beautiful

and I think “baby I miss me” had me thinking about listening to it when we were driving back and it was dark outside 😎 a good chill-out song… and it was one I had spent a lot of time pledging my love to because it was a great ballad… very romantic

naturally, I got very oddly nostalgic with the new versions of older songs… like I’d be singing to them matter of factly as if I knew them quite well… well, duh, I do in a brand new CD, it’s nice to find yourself with familiarity… the only thing I really had to do was readjust to the new vocal stylings and cues because they didn’t sing the songs the same way they used to…
not entirely true… the first track had differences in that they repeated Jesse singing “Down on Dream Street” with different mixings of that vocal as it faded in and out as it played 4 times… this occurs twice, after the first chorus and at the very end of the song… and with “This Time”… the vocals are identical to the original pressing, except that you hear Matt and Jesse take a breath during their verses… for smoothness, I guess they hammered that out in editing

I say yeah, almost sounded like a mock-up of the original… everyone was putting their own slant on their lyrics… I don’t know what the hell happened to Matt, I wrote in my fanfic that he said he may have had a cold (lol… which may/may not be true)… I think he was trying to sound like a rock star… the same way Greg was during his parts (he gets the most vocals on this song, I think… he begins and ends it, has a verse and does back-up vocals)
geesh guys, its a pop song, you don’t need to try that hard to make it sound like a rock… Frankie, Chris and Jesse didn’t improvize at all, except for maybe how they ended their lines (Chris & Jesse ended their notes on an upswing)

you know I can’t help but wonder if Greg, to this day, still sings “Jennifer Goodbye” at his concerts… he used to in his solo days with a guitar and everything :shrug: maybe he does on occasion, but I wouldn’t be too surprised if he stopped doing that years ago

Jesse sang “gotta get the girl” at Point Pleasant, but spent the entirity of his Six Flags concert on his “Beautiful Soul” tracks

I was good with the majority of the lyrics… I guess the “rule” was that I’d trip over myself during the first verse, the first airing of the chorus and around that time I’d finally catch on…
I used to listen to “baby I miss you”… pretty close to religiously back in the day, but I actually missed most of the first minute with Chris’s vocals, I finally found my place and managed to keep it

“taking me over” had me gleefully nostalgic because I was onto it from the get-go and maybe once or twice I had to step back and listen to how a verse started so I could get back in line… Frankie and Jesse are so easy to chill out with on that track… in fact I still remembered a little bit of choreography I made up for the chorus… a few little steps here and there

the beginning of “Fallin’ for you” was very familiar, like I had heard something similiar in another song… but it was probably the song I had the most trouble remembering…
“Run away” I remembered pretty well once I got into it I remember that scene being used in the movie during the scene where Chris is so drugged up on cold medicine (at the hands of his manager Louie and Claudia, their choreographer) that he stumbles out of the studio and drives the tourbus to some unknown location…
which of course happens to be the home of his biggest fan, played by Kaila Amariah (can’t remember her character’s name at the moment)…

she and her best friend have been bullied by a group of popular girls, one of which knows the group’s lawyer through her dad, therefore gets perks, free tickets, backstage passes, whatever else…

anyway, our two mains get tickets to a Dream Street concert… I believe from the mean girls’ and it turns out they were for the wrong night… so she goes home, disappointed and wishes to meet Chris

I’m sure this isn’t an exclusive case of “mistaken identity”… but given what I know about one stint Robert had when he was intoxicated…
I am very edgy about the fact that Chris falls asleep in the girl’s bed… there was one incident where Robert stumbled into a stranger’s house, the Goldilocks thing, and falls asleep in a little girl’s bed…
I cannot help but wonder… given this was filmed in 2001, that the writers for the movie was influenced/inspired or made this allusion to Robert Downey Jr.

that kinda worries me 😕 Robert’s messed up personal life being used as substance for a scene in a movie… independant film or not, that’s no excuse, I’m sorry

something else that’s starting to worry me a bit… the more I type about this, the more I might be convincing myself to watch it later today… like I said, put me out of my misery so I can stop dreading what may (or may not) happen watching it…
I have watched it either in the morning or in the afternoon, after which I’d go through a series of emotions… there’d be a high at first and there’d be a crash that follows shortly after the ending credits start rolling… there’s a finality about it, as if this is the last big thing they ever did and there will be no more afterwards

I kinda want to prove to myself that I can go through all this and make it out alive, despite my worries that the past is going to repeat itself.
one thing I must say for Chris Trousdale is that he’s very easy on the eyes, makes me melt
he surely managed to do that in person, I fell head over heels HARD for him

and of course for dozens of reasons, he is what has made the whole thing so complicated for me. I may be making too much of this, I’ll see what happens later on after finally seeing the movie and being over and done all that stuff…

plus, it’d be good to get at least 24 hours of separation between me and anything Dream Street related before I see his cameo on “Shake it up” Sunday afternoon (yes, I am more than willing to sarcifice half an hour of the Eagles game to see Chris do a cameo and it’s not because I probably won’t miss much with the Eagles being the state they are… )…

so… “With all my heart”… I had actually put on my Jonas soundtrack back in the day as one of the songs that were played during the 9th grade dance, along with Amazed by Lonestar (which I changed to Stevie Brock’s “you’re the inspiration” cover), Be by Plus One, swapped one Mandy Moore song (“Cry”) for another (“I wanna be with you”)… and of course that Madonna track “Dress you up in my love”… yeah, great song for a 9th grade dance, lol, its so filthy

I knew the song quite well and had listened to it on its own a bunch of times… probably the most of any of their songs in the past 4 years… maybe 5-6 years… however long its been since I put the tracklisting together…
but I knew for a fact, I’ll backtrack real quick… I was listening to “baby I miss you”… bracing for something to happen emotionally and luckily I didn’t lose myself in it… and I thought that the worst was over… nope, “with all my heart” was the song that had set me over the edge several times before… and I knew that for a fact, it would be the one song to miss me up if anything on the album did mess me up a bit

therefore, I am grateful and I prop myself on the fact that I managed to keep it together (even though I started to feel a little light-headed/hearted during the first chorus) until the song ended… I managed to sing it all the way through without just pitifully crying through the lyrics

which I have done…
I think that’s the song that they have that “hidden music video” of on the CD… but I think its gonna be a mix of scenes from the music with more emphasis on the very last scene where she meets him backstage at a concert and she runs into his arms

I think I also went through the movie being between insanely jealous, pissed off and depressed that Kaila was the luckiest girl in the world to co-star with Chris… of all people… and to her credit, she’s a good actress and she’s not the most beautiful girl in the world… her physical appearance, she has a rounder face than I do, but I could see me slipping into her shoes…
I’m hoping to be able to make it through this movie where I can see myself in her place, living out my fantasies through her… kinda the way I did with Michelle Monaghan in “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”… during one scene where she and Robert are curled up in bed together, just before she tells him that she left with his best friend Joe Chutney

I sometimes like to imagine I’m in her place, nestled in his arms…
so where Chris is concerned, cuz Kaila’s character is very relatable, I do like her a lot… I’m hoping to take the high road, enjoying being in her shoes rather than wishing so badly that I was her

I kinda planned to listen to the remainder of the album (the songs that weren’t remade/re-recorded) after listening to the soundtrack, but its good to get a little distance… :shrug:

I would very much like to come out of all this under more positive pretenses, so I don’t have to dread the time I have to cue up the music/DVD’s… that I can look back on things more fondly.

its pretty huge that I can get through the original album and enjoy the music just as I had back then

I guess what I’m trying to say about it is that its very similiar to how it went with Jesse’s 2nd album… I can hang out with the music, chill with it and enjoy it 😎 because it speaks to me personally. we’re all around the same age, so the issues being discussed are much more relatable…
what I loved most about the group is that everyone got to sing and I don’t think there was ever a time where I wanted to learn the back-up vocals as much as the run-of-the-mill vocals… learning what everyone sang and so on

it’ll be pretty evident in my next couple entries after seeing the movie again whether or not I mentally & emotionally managed to survive The Biggest Fan this time around… I’m hoping there won’t be much of a struggle this time, much how it was so easy to reaccept their album into my life after several years.
would love nothing more than to appreciate this part of my past more than I have, whereas I’d been denying it was there when deep down, I know it has never truly left me

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