Added pressure of being myself as DreamyPop

Don’t know what it is, but whenever I write any entry with someone in mind or directly to someone, I get all jittery, not knowing quite where to start.

For maybe the past year or so, it’s become kind of a daily thing, although it depends on who’s dropping by. The Ellen Show has kind of become my favorite morning show. I mean, Live with Kelly is all right, but the more I watch it, the more I believe she’s in need of a permanent co-star. Just isn’t quite the same with her in charge. Maybe a little too much of whatever she brings to the set, some of it just too much talk about Jersey Shore or The Bachelor… I just don’t like the fakeness that stuff brings and I’d prefer to act like it doesn’t exist than acknowledge it

well, anyway…
yesterday was kinda… sucky, I guess is a good word for it. The whole “some days are better than others” mantra

I’m kinda feeling like Colton Dixon’s elimination from American Idol will be this year’s turning point, something that gets my full attention or I just will go on and on about in my mind and in my entries.

So yesterday was kinda rough… not completely because of that, but I just didn’t have the energy for much of anything. Not a whole lot to make me smile, I guess you could say.

I’m starting to think it was because my internal clock was off. I’ll usually be up until midnight or 1-2 in the morning and then get up at 9… I’m just used to that timeslot and it’s worked well for me.

I stayed up last night, not to watch “Dear John,” which I was considedering for a while but decided to pass cuz I didn’t want Nicholas Sparks having me cry my eyes out again… not a great way to end a night, that’s for sure.

“The Girl Next Door” was just awesome… great movie and unbelievably, everything turned out okay in the end for Emile Hirsch. It’s a nice breath of fresh air seeing him play something other than that snobbish prep school kid from The Emperor’s Club… that innocence did him good

So I watched Ellen today because Jack Black was going to be on… in some weird way, he’d become one of my current favorite actors. I did love School of Rock and Kung Fu Panda before… well, basically, just because someone is associated with Tropic Thunder, I automatically think they’re awesome… yeah, my associating people with Robert does wonders… it gets kinda ridiculous, especially when it makes me give some people another look and dismissing others… just because of a reference to him in a movie, I’m like anti-Colin Farrell now… and I used to at least think he was one of the new Hollywood hotties

to my surprise… not only is Robert Downey Jr. gonna appear on the show in May for “Avengers” press… seeing the commercial the first time felt like I got 20 volts to my chest, got my attention and of course I was cheering.
I’m gonna try to slow things down this time, not get super excited for stuff and mostly, whenever they show scenes from the movie during all of these interviews that are bound to happen (c’mon, you’ve got an all-star cast… it’s gonna happen)… I figure if I dial things back a bit, like today, try to forget what I saw as soon as I see it…
I love surprises in movies, that’s a big thing for me… however positive or negative, I like to be surprised, especially when films take a direction you don’t expect

“Iron-Man” felt like that because it turned the war in the Middle-East into a big chunk of the plot… brought it a little closer to home for me, where I otherwise try to stay aloof of politics and at least until the past two years, haven’t given it up for our troops as much as I should have

not just that, though…

I didn’t know who Cobie Smulders was… when I heard she was promoting Avengers, I was kinda worried a bit… thinking Scarlet Johannson got replaced as Black Widow

speaking on that, I need to do my research they showed a Farmers Insurance commercial where everyone was dressed as an Avenger and my mom asked who the girl in the tights was… I know Black Widow and what her alter ego is, but I know nothing about her powers other than her athletic ability…

I gotta at least research the backstories of her and Hawkeye before next Friday… I know the others because I saw all their movies and I’m pretty much… well, per the movies and watching all the same interviews repeatedly, a film expert of Iron-Man…

and seeing as I came to the sequel to see him in particular, I remembered less of what Black Widow brought to the cast… other than a bit of a thorn in Pepper’s side

I didn’t know that there was going to be anyone else in the movie other than the superheroes and of course, the villian, Loki…
but it made sense that Nick Fury, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. (who I also gotta do some research on) had someone to give orders too… that would be her

to add to all that, Ellen asked Cobie about Robert Downey Jr. and I nearly lost it… I echoed her sentiment completely, not that I’d ever been in the same room with him, but just thinking of the idea and I’d say the same thing “I can’t complete a sentence in front of him”

so, ultimately… Robert did for me this morning what he did a lot of last year… he made me smile, made me feel good and took me away from whatever negativity was going on with me.

I’m gonna try to keep this entry short 😕
cuz I’m thinking that I’ll submit the address to the fill-out contact form on Ellen’s show’s page, so she’ll at least see this entry

Her show’s always great for positivity and that’s something I try to do on my blog… sometimes not as well… if I gotta fume or vent about something, I’ll do that. But for the most part, I like to keep things positive… looking on the bright side at least makes some situations look less bleak than they are

it’s also gonna be kind of a huge step for me… aside from my fellow purple knight, nobody else really knows that I’m the one behind this blog. This is something I kinda do in my spare time… I guess a public/online journal, but its where I gotta when I wanna talk about stuff… sometimes stuff I feel like I can’t talk about with my family and friends

usually its me going on and on about how awesome [celebrity name here] is… and I don’t want to be told to just cut it out and “enough already”…
at least with a blog, nobody’s gonna talk back and tell me to change the subject and stop repeating myself all the time

the form requires I give out some personal information… like my real name and all that… address and phone number… even if it never goes anywhere, this is kinda something I need to get off my chest

other than doing whatever I do… promotion of my favorite actors and singers/musicians…

these days, I’d felt a little more at ease. I’d been focusing on my writing, which is pretty much my book on Prince… the more I meditate on it, the more I believe thats not gonna be like an unofficial biography or whatever Per Nielsen did with “Dance Music Sex Romance”… which was strictly facts about the biography and his different albums

it’s gonna be like my own personal view of Prince, what I think of his music, kinda spreading the good word about him because I think he deserves more credit than he often gets. And when he does get it, its usually in hushed tones and comes and goes… his genius is appreciated, but sometimes people are intimidated. They more so have the reason for it these days because he wants to protect his image so much that he won’t let his music or likeness be used in YouTube clips

I know all that… I know that he’s not perfect, but that’s my primary focus…
I figure if just one person discusses Prince both as someone who enjoys listening to him, has learned from him and all that, it might get the attention of other people and I also think some of it has to do with my generation not appreciating true artists in the music industry as much as they did back in the day…

these days, its pretty much a lot of computers, a lot of auto-tone, not a lot of people writing their own material… and the true artists often aren’t appreciated as much as they ought to be

so I’ve been focusing on that… getting out of my head a bit to distance myself from where I am… I’m 25, living at home, unemployed (although I do look after my neighbor’s dog during the week when she’s working, as of a month ago)… not really looking to get out of the situation I’m in now. I’ve got a college degree in marine biology that could go unused because I live in Pennsylvania… sciences are where the money’s at, but everywhere I look, I don’t have enough experience…

addled by the fact I’m ridiculously shy and reserved… and sometimes my attitude might be too laidback… some people might think me aloof, especially when I can hear the radio, sometimes I’ll just tune out and crane my neck to see if I can hear one lyric, figure out what the song is and in my mind, if I know it, I’ll think the song to myself and keeping going even if I can’t hear it terribly well

I guess what I’m saying is that I want to be a writer, I think of myself as a writer and don’t really want to do anything else. It’s not terribly realistic, but its something I just don’t want to give up for a dead-end position that I’d get at a restaurant or in retail…

These days, I’m not too sure just what kind of writer I am. I have several Word documents with stories I wrote during high school and college… all of which are complete from start to finish, but most of them are in their first or second drafts and I don’t have the energy or enthusasim to keep up with that…

basically, I’d been putting all of my energy into writing The Word… subtitled: exploring the musical genius of Prince…

right now, I’m working on the music aspect of the Purple Rain chapter and I finished Darling Nikki yesterday… that leaves only 8 songs to go, plus I need to do an introduction, give my props to The Revelation and maybe talk about some tracks that didn’t make the album but were considered for it…

I figure… I started this blog as my own place to discuss Prince, trying to decode his music so I can figure out how it makes sense for me… sometimes doing some heavy philosophizing about it…

then after things cooled off, I turned elsewhere… I’d meant to launch into this sooner, but knowing me, I got sidetracked a bit.

before I completely ignore this, I watched an interview he did for “A Guide to Recognizing your Saints”… might have mentioned this the first time I saw it, but in case I didn’t…
Robert knew Dito Montiel and they’re good friends… and they worked on the script together… I think its one of the few credits of Robert as a producer, instead of just an actor.

but I love how he’s such a go-getter, really making sure he knows the character he’s playing as if living the person’s life where sometimes you can’t tell that he’s playing a part. Trust me, there are times where I can see him, the actor, shining during certain parts of certain films…
Charlie Bartlett is the only concrete example of this that I can reference at the current time: when he’s giving him that lecture after Kip Crombell’s overdose…

here goes nothing, I guess, gotta get out of my head a bit.

They say the people that come into our lives do so for a reason.
I’d been a Robert Downey Jr. fan since Tropic Thunder, but Less than Zero led me to research his work. He was already someone I greatly respected that just lit up the screen like nobody else I knew. Watching his performance on Ally McBeal reruns gave me something to look forward to every day. I know that the experience didn’t end well for him, but for what its worth, its still one of my favorite things he did. Excited for his appearance on ur show.
I come from a great family and live a good life. Sometimes its rough being an unemployed college graduate, especially when interviews come rarely and I’m not as outgoing as people would like me to be. Writing’s my true passion and my best means of expression. When inspiration for YA fiction is hard to come by, I blog [http://xanga.com/DreamyPopRoyalty] to discuss my favorite music and movies. It started as a place to discuss Prince’s music (which I’m working on a book about) and nowadays, he is one of many celebrities I discuss cuz I idolize them that much. Writing speaks better for me than speaking does and one day, I’d love a chance to sit down and talk with these people so I can learn from them and hopefully what I write will make them smile as much as their talents have made me. When the day comes, I’d ultimately like to tell Robert how much I admire him as an actor and just thank you for making me smile when I’m feeling down.

…I really do hate character limits, makes me nervous that not eveything will get said…

I put my name out there and… :shrug: maybe something will happen, maybe something won’t…

but one way or other, I’ve got satisfication of seeing Robert on the Ellen Show as its happening. I saw both clips of his past appearances and the last time was maybe 5 years ago when he was promoting The Shaggy Dog… just after he got married to Susan.

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