Why its so hard to feign reality and easy to stay true to characters?

It seems like my past few attempts to continue with my Downey fanfiction have fallen on (whatever the physical equavalient of) deaf ears by whomever allows my vision to connect with my keystrokes…

I mean, yeah, I thought I was done… but there were a couple of moments where I had ideas and by the time I got my PC, they fell apart…
I got to salvage at least one of them… like I was lying myself down to bed and I felt miserable… I finally summoned up that misery and brought it to my “workbench”… and something came out of it…
which leads me to believe that there will be a time years from now when I have enough of these character sketches that my Larry Paul-esque character will bring forth an entire novel… only thing is maybe I should make him a different profession just to avoid comparsions… but what does it really matter? Its not like anyone but me is gonna read it… well, maybe a handful of my friends, but regardless…

then yesterday while waiting for the Hunger Games DVD menu, I had a moment of brilliance… all inspired from a really short clip of Tony Stark watching an old film… for some odd reasons I thought they were talking about Avengers release already… but in fact, it’s this new subscription service called “Epix”… which sounds like a Netflix program, but its specificially for bigger movies like all the Marvel films… that was actually a scene from Iron-Man 2, where I have no doubt Tony Stark was watching old news reels of his dad

so I had the audacity (tee-hee, I used that word in my fan letter to him) to think of a story of… supposing he was in a film that came through town, much in the same fashion as that Johnny Gossamer movie in “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”… what kind of conversation would we have and I saw him giving me great advice on life and stuff like that…
of course I get to my PC that night (after trying a set-up in my notebook that I knew wasnt going well) and what came out with was crap… I really wasn’t feeling the energy behind it, so it might just lay there unfinished like a couple other works I started
I might eventually start a document to put them all… after a few experiences earlier in my writing where I deleted stuff that I wish I had back just to read them… even if they were pretty pointless to begin with, but would have put my mind at ease

which kinda brings me to a helluva conundrum…
why is so easy to write about this guy through one of his characters, but its so hard to write about the actual article?

easy… I don’t know the actual article.. I only think I do because… c’mon, who’d watched more footage than me, especially in such a short time
kinda makes it sound like I’m studying him as much as he studied Chaplin while preparing to play him… but its not exactly “studying”

last night was full of some interesting things… once I got away from reality TV and such…
Hell’s Kitchen & MasterChef are really shaping up

they finally got rid of Robyn in Hell’s Kitchen and Clemenza, the big Italian New Yorker finally saw the exit door this past week… he’d been in the bottom almost as much, if not more, than Robyn… now its going to be a bit of different game…

Dana looks like she’s starting to trip up a bit (I think she’s still a little immature to run an entire kitchen… I mean, I’m more mature than she is in a lot of respects and she’s a year older than me… that’s it… still pretty sick of her screaming at the camera in this sarcastic voice whenever she’s in the confession booth… my god… Dana, shut up! we can hear you already)

Christina had her first slip up maybe ever in Hell’s Kitchen and it freaked her out a little bit… she’s my pick to go all the way
Justin looks like the only other one with that leadership quality needed to win…

then with Barbie, it’s hard to tell now… she had her worst day in probably, ever… and people started gunning for her to leave… this time they actually had a legit reason to think so… they’ve been trying to get rid of her for ages for a reason I don’t even know… she hasn’t done or said anything that makes me think she’s abrasive or not a team player or whatever you wanna call it…
she might not be quite there yet… but I think that she and Dana will see the cutting room next week

as for Masterchef, we are down to 4…

this past week, they had a mystery box challenge where they picked out ingredients to put together a signature dish…
SYKE!
after getting their ingredients, they had to pass their box to someone else…

frontrunner Becky had probably the worst day ever…
she forgot the chicken skin she roasted for her dish… then later on, she was in the bottom 3 for the elimination challenge

top three were:

Josh, this tall black guy who was recently brought back into the competition in the redemption challange… he did this savory bread pudding with onion rings on top… looked real good

Monti, who had Christine’s Asian ingredients and came out with an amazing dish and she of course was still surprised at the praise… a lot of people, including one of my aunts, think she’s phony and even worse, an actress they put on the show amongst all the REAL cooks… me, I never really thought that… she has a generous spirit about her

and Christine… who I think had Becky’s ingredients and shoot, I don’t even remember what she made, but I didnt think she had the most visually appealing plate of the three of them…
despite the fact she’s blind, almost all of her other dishes have looked spectucular… that looked a little messy and maybe a little too monochromatic, it didnt pop…

Josh won the challenge

the elimination challenge was picking out one of Graham Elliot’s dishes (he’s one of the three judges with Gordon Ramsey and Joe Bastinach)… for everyone to replicate…
all three had been prepared for famous people…
one for Oprah, another for Jay-Z and another for the president (there was coughing happening the peanut gallery on that one, trust me)…

Josh picked the white tuna sashimi with plantains and avocado mousse… prepared for the president…
I mean, its one thing for my folks to not like him, but the idea of hating food because he liked it… I’m sorry thats just beyond ridiculous…

that’s like me changing my mind about liking a movie because someone I don’t like in Hollywood loved it…

he got to taste it and ask questions and they gave him all the ingredients he needed to make it… they put up the challenge that if he thought he could improve on it, go for it

he decided to add mango to the passion fruit mixture to cut through its acidity…

down to the knife skills, him, Becky and Monti were the bottom 3

amazingly… Christine’s dish was like a complete copy of the original… almost down to every visual detail… by taste alone, she picked out all the exact ingredients in there… and everyone was FLOORED… Gordon Ramsey himself was SPEECHLESS…

a true testament to her excellence…

Josh’s move of adding the mango went horribly wrong and they actually called him out for trying to improve on the dish… one of those “you have to walk before you can run” moments…

but it was Monti that ended up going home… probably to the delight of milions nah, I’m kinda sorry to see her go too… at the very least, this taught her ex that he made a HUGE mistake

after all that…

I forgot to mention this on my last entry… and actually another thing I forgot to mention…

when I was up a week ago waiting for The Singing Detective to start, I turned on Soapnet because they were showing “AMC” repeats…
it was at least from a couple years ago because Jake Martin was there… Frankie Hubbard was romancing his future wife, Randi, who was a prostitute that was being batted around by her pimp… and Annie had just killed her brother, Richie…
meanwhile, Colby and her friends are making a pact to keep quiet about an accident they were in… they thought they killed Richie by running him over accidentally with their car… when in fact, he was already dead

I remember that it was JR’s car… no, wait… it was JR’s car when Annie run past that ambulance where Griffin had to operate on Kendall (I at least I think it was Kendall)… like open heart surgery (yeah it was her) and David Hayward was guiding him via walkie talkie

yeah, I know too much about that show, but dude, it was so much fun reliving all this… if only they released all those soaps on DVD, then I’d be set for LIFE
although with my soap, I think I only need the last 10 years of it…
like from 1998 to when it ended a year ago (or was it two, I forget)…

I caught the pilot of Travis Wall’s series, “All the right moves”  online and yesterday I watched the next show… man, if there was any indication that my dad’s a little homophobic, it was this… kept talking through the show and insisted the lot of them were a little too dramatic…
in actuality, Nick (winner of season one of SYTYCD, or what I’d like to call, ‘the forgotten season’… because other than maybe 5 people, I don’t remember it very well…) and Travis are gay… and the other two guys they’re rooming with are straight

I kinda suspected about Travis, but this kinda confirmed it for me…
it was pretty cool seeming him and the guys recruit past dancers from the series for their dance company, Shaping Sound… but Jaimie, who was in season 3, they’d known each other forever… it was pretty cool that they were that close and actually were dating until Travis kinda figured out that he was gay…but they are still super close as if they were still together…and it seems that he’s also happily in a relationship with someone… there was a scene where he was all… well, probably the first time where you could truly saying he was flaming… he was getting all cutesy on the phone like he was talking to a cat or a 5-year old, haha

Nick is the only one in the house where its extremely obvious that he’s gay :shrug: and that’s fine… whatever way these guys rule their world, just as long as they choreograph and do some amazing dancing, it makes no difference to me 😎

there was a bit of a conflict brewing cuz they put together this dance for an investor preview and they said something about considering the name “Travis Wall’s Shaping Sound”… because his name would attract more interest in the company…
of course the other guys weren’t into it… but it looks like they’ve decided to go with just Shaping Sound and everything’s back on the same page… its so fascinating to see these guys work because they are at the top of their game… like wow…

and it sounds like Travis’s friend, Taja, has a real busy career that a lot of dancers would kill to have… sure, Mark from season 4 got to work with Lady Gaga and is in several of her videos… (and actually while at coffee with my mom and the woman’s club, apparently, one of their neighbors’ kids is a stage manager for Lady Gaga and her husband worked with Cee-Lo Green… omg, that was like a “shut up!” moment for me… I couldnt believe it)…

Taja is a back-up dancer for Nicole Scherzinger, who is supposedly opening for Prince…
I had one thing to say about that, other than “AWESOME”… “tell him to haul his ass over to the east coast”…

like, c’mon dude… I’d like the chance to see you once while you’re still alive and kicking the flow…

after watching that show, I tried to make it work with my story… did NOT work out very well…

so I ended up watching maybe 4 YouTube clips… because once I got to one in the suggested videos area on the right hand side… I started finding a bunch I had to watch…

here he looked young, like around the time he was doing that political documentary…
 for some odd reason, in the video, the years “1986-7” popped up so I thought it was a sketch for SNL… I’m watching the video and listening to him talk… they’re talking about rehab and coming back and all that…
listening to him, it starts to occur to me….

“wait a minute… this is him after the great transformation”… something deep down inside told me that it had to be after all of that negativity… and him talking about Joel Silver’s deal in “Gothika” kinda confirmed for me that this was 2004 at least… wow…
and supposedly he was tapped for a Woody Allen film but he got dropped because they couldn’t discuss with him how to pay for the insurance… somebody screwed up… BIG mistake, BIG, HUGE… and apparently it was a role that went to Will Ferrell… my god, Woody, you sunk to a new low… although he did do wonders for Owen Wilson in “Midnight in Paris”…

the deal was that the insurance money came out of his paycheck and at the end of the shoot, he’d get all that money back…
Kinda similiar to the deal he made with Mel Gibson with The Singing Detective…
even more surprising, they brought up the Oscar nomination that went to Al Pacino… he was joking around, while being completely serious about being pissed
eventually saying that it was his turn, he’d been nominated 7 times before he won and that year was about that…
when asked about the Oscars that year, he said that he probably thought all the films sucked despite not seeing them… I think the way he put it was that all of the movies nominated for best picture were made with that motive in mind… and you know how much he hates motives..
I dare him to make that statement about Heath Ledger stealing his Oscar cuz I sure as hell think so, haha… even if its all kinds of wrong, still, c’mon…

if Robert gets any of the awards I believe he deserves, I really do hope to God he’s alive to enjoy them… he deserves at least the right to CELEBRATE… in a clean, sober way, of course

after that… lets see… watched the Wayne Brady appearance… which was cool cuz of that first part when he read a fan submission to not ask him about his past… hell yeah!!
how long does a guy have to wait until his past stops being a freaking punchline…

saw a video that’s among the types of clips that I love coming across… especially when it comes to movies I’ll likely never see or get my hands on…
it was all of his scenes from the James Toback film “Black & White”… which is about him and a friend shooting a documentary, asking about the white people in New York speaking in ghetto langugage and all that…
Mike Tyson was in this… and he was actually coming onto him until he almost got his ass handed to him…
yep, he plays a gay character in this one as well… I had no idea but it really makes no difference to me… I’d rather keep in my back pocket the list of movies where he dies than how many gay characters he’s played

Rented Lips, I’m not positive about… because I refuse to see it… not my speed… but including that…
he’s probably only played a gay character maybe 5 times… off the top of my head…
this guy
Tommy Larson from Home for the Holidays
Charlie from One Night Stand
Terry Crabtree from Wonder Boys…

I think that’s all of them…

as for the number of deaths…
not a whole lot, which is a relief, of course… few things bring a movie down quite like a main character or your favorite character getting killed…

Julian (overdose)
The guy from Natural Born Killers (homicide)
Charlie from One Night Stand (AIDS)
Fur (suicide/respiratory failure)
and US Marshalls (homicide)

as far as I know anyway…

the number of characters he’s played where he gets his ass handed to him…

:sigh:

far too many to count, my friend… and it’s pretty unfortunate how that’s a common component in his movies

Black & White was pretty interesting but I doubt I’d ever watch the entire movie… especially if he’s only in 13 minutes of footage

I followed up with “funny” clips… someone posted a bunch of clips… MOST are from one Jay Leno interview… which he apparently did promoting Iron-Man 2…
man…

this was confusing as hell… because he had the long hair for Sherlock AND the Tony Stark ‘tasche… Robert, for crying out loud, pick one! (preferrably Tony Stark, lol… long hair isn’t nearly as sexy… although it depends on the color scheme of rest of his wardrobe)…

it was freaking hilarious, though, I will admit… he was talking about regular sessions of therapy he goes to with Susan and that’s how they stay strong as a couple… he kept telling Jay Leno that they need to go to therapy together sometime
I don’t remember a whole lotta else, honestly, haha

the last clip I watched… honestly around this point I was starting to feel like I was sinking on the inside… don’t know why I was so miserable all of a sudden… maybe because I thought I was overdoing it…
it was the interview he did with Sting on Ellen… she’s got a point… why doesn’t he seem to have the courage to be alone with her when they’re doing an interview?
although I don’t think Susan’s presence counts in that equation… of course she’s in the audience but they aren’t being interviewed together (that only happened on Oprah… OH… saw the performance he did on her show of “Broken”… made want to fire his back-up singer… she sounds nothing like the girl on the album, who I think he said was his ex, Deborah Falconer… it took away from the overall impact as much as a Prince performance with the Twinz)…

they were talking to her about “A guide to recognizing your saints”.. I didnt know Sting had any role in this but apparently they were having so much trouble getting it made due to budget that he put up his own money to finance… I don’t know if he earned much of it back, but that was a pretty cool thing for him to do…
then we got Sting’s side of the story of how they met… Robert serving him coffee or tea as a waiter at that place Central Falls in SoHo…

towards the end was freaking hilarious… where she was reading all these facts and trying to figure out who each of them was about…
I was thinking “oh oh, I got this!”
for obvious reasons, lol…

I did not know that Robert bested Tom Cruise in ping-pong, lol…
I DID know that he got fired from that shoe store because he stole a pair of moccasins that weren’t even his size.. (I think I heard it in a Jay Leno interview)
didn’t know that he inscribed on Susan’s wedding ring “together until the wheels fall off” although it should have been OBVIOUS
I picked up that Sting was told on a cruise ship that his voice was upsetting people, haha… because Robert never worked on a cruise ship

it was also kinda funny when she brought up Sting’s “Brand New Day” album and supposedly, it helped Robert get through his time in prison…
….awwwkwwardddd…

there are worse things 😉

I got to bed last night at some point, but my god… I couldn’t believe how on fire I was that I had trouble settling down…

when I said that Robert’s a great caffeine substitute, I wasn’t kidding… there is legit claim to that and it kept me up for at least half an hour…
unfortunately, I was thinking about having a motive behind my actions… but it was totally insane the idea I had in mind…

I was thinking that… supposing we still have YouTube 40-50 years from now, I was gonna post a video dedicated to Robert when he passed on a ripe old age…
waiting until then to really say how much he meant to me and by then, I’d finally figure out why he came into my life the way he did…

I think my mind was more on the crazy than the obvious “I should really speak now before its too late”…
we’ve got the entire week to ourselves… well, at least until Monday/Tuesday… so I have time to record some videos for YouTube…

on the plus side, all of these would be in monologue with no music so of course I wouldn’t have to worry about copyright infringment and my videos getting pulled…

I was thinking about that movie blog… and how maybe, I might post links to YouTube for reviews I did specifically of his movies… that’d be kinda special, wouldn’t it? posting video reviews of only his films… because doing videos where I’m talking the camera doesn’t freak me out enough…

what freaks me out the most… I don’t know if I’ll get to say everything that comes to mind or that I’ll even use the right words…

I’d just picked out a number for my vlogs…
Confessions of a Downey Fan-girl…

the first one will probably be a 3-5 minute video of giving an introduction…
it’s not entirely unusual for me to come into knowing certain people after they’d been famous for a number of years (i.e. older men)… but its another that…

I’ll give it to you straight… I was a fan before I knew anything of the trouble in his past… I knew that I saw Tropic Thunder and it was so different, great writing, and my god, I loved the character… and it told me to keep an eye out for him…
then of course, anyone who has followed my blog knows what made things escalate…

I had to know everything about his past to kinda put my own mind at ease… that he didn’t almost kill himself with his addiction… and it would seem that there was a single incident where that was the case… it was the goldilock’s incident and when he got arrained for that, someone said he was on death’s door…

but that doesn’t matter anymore… none of it matters… I’m gonna focus on the present and stay with that…

I’ve already got 5 movies, at least 5, possibly more… of his works to put on my 100 movies list… and yeah, a bunch will be within the top 20… that’s all I’ll give away… and I don’t believe that I’m gonna be totally biased and say that one of his movies is my favorite movie of all-time…
luckily by the time I do do this list, Avengers will have been out on DVD for a while, I will have seen it at least two more times so I can figure out where it ranks, if it does rank…

the thing that terrifies me the most about improvizing… if I stumble, I’d look like an idiot… I’m aware that that’s what multiple takes are for… but I’d like to at least cover these topics in this video… if I muster up the courage to do it…

1) the first time I saw him was Tropic Thunder… which convinced me he was a guy to watch
(of course beforehand I gotta do plesantries… on the off-chance he finds it while recovering his ankle)…
2) Less than Zero made me do the research I was afraid to do…
3) confessions that I did a lot of surfing on YouTube
4) a little bit about me and my lack of self-esteem and how things got better when I started spending time with him

of course I’ll review his album in another vlog… that’s a given…

phew… I was gonna go into reviewing a bunch of movies in this entry, but now I’m a little too tense to think about it…
I’m probably gonna go see The Bourne Legacy today but I think I’ll do a few takes first

maybe an intial review and one of his album

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