Bel Ami & beginning the “Black Album”

Seriously, the only way I’d be able to legitimize talking about that first movie is to do it in a combined entry… it won’t be long and it won’t be pleasant


I guess you could say that since “Twilight,” I’d been geared toward seeing Robert Pattinson in everything… the downside is that he doesn’t get to retain his home-grown accent most of the time… he keeps playing these Americans…
yet anyone named Hugh who is British by birth can be wherever they please and still maintain that accent… I mean, I love Hugh Grant & Dancy… but it still annoys me that this double-standard exists.

Anyway…
I have found myself at a crossroads with Rob Pattinson… where I must sadly confess that I most likely won’t be watching any of his new movies anytime soon… unless the plot summary sounds promising… I looked up “Bel Ami” when I first saw the trailers just to make sure he didn’t get killed at the end… because that tends to happen quite frequently.
It pains me to say, though, that the movie would have been a little better off if he did get killed

In a nutshell, “Bel Ami” is a period piece (so he gets to keep the accent, yeah!) that takes place in 1890 in Paris. The first scene makes it all the more clear (in addition to the time stamp) because we see the can-can girls of Toulouse Letreque (please do not murder me if I misspelled that).
This dude that he plays is a soldier that has fallen on hard times, one of his old army mates (or majors) hooks him up with a newpaper column that he could write… meanwhile, he is introduced to a couple wives of these aristocratic folks…
I know from the get-go the premise that he is a social climber that sleeps with the wives/mistresses of these rich men. Already within the first 10 minutes, we are introduced to all of them… and he has different experiences with each one, obviously

Christina Ricci is the youngest and the most forgiving of the bunch… no matter what happens, she always comes back to him, even when he gets married a couple times.
Uma Thurman, he slowly wins over, but we see that she might be just as devious as he is
and Kristin Scott Thomas, he has one night with, and he wins her over immediately… but there was no feeling there, despite how much she begs and pleads for him to give her the time of day…

so, in deed, Mary Sharon is still among us to some degree. Usually she plays stuck-up individuals with much more dignity so this really surprised me… in a good way… but there were few good surprises in this

now… I’m gonna put this as bluntly as I can…
thanks to Prince’s music in general, I’d become desensitized to sexual content… hearing anything remotely suggestive (or in your face “suggestive”)… it doesn’t bother me… and I can observe it on film from an artistic POV, understand that it’s part of the story and all that…

I kinda learned the reason why this movie is always shown late at night… no earlier than 11pm most times… [down to a whisper] there was so much sex in this it was ridiculous…

there was only one scene where it was full nudity… and anyone from Team Edward who missed butt-crack in the “Breaking Dawn” sex scene… they got it here, where he’s with a can-can girl (who happens to be Tonks from the “Harry Potter” movies)
…with Christina Ricci in the montage of sex romps, it was all right… but after a while, I felt like I really couldn’t handle much more… I didn’t care how much it brought to the story or what it did… it kinda illustrated with Uma’s character her degree of… I’ll use that word again… devious… they were married at this point (her husband had died of TB maybe 20 minutes ago… there are fewer things more obvious in these period pieces… and Moulin Rouge… than when someone is going to die of this disease… its one of the easiest illness to show on-screen cuz we all know the symptoms)

she has helped him, more or less, write these columns for the paper… diary of a cavalry man or whatever… he’s not very good with the writing… there’s a scene where she’s dictating an article to him, he’s more in the mood for something else entirely… then all of a sudden, its like she’s running the show… 
and it would seem she was having an affair with a Count… and one of other man while this marriage was going on…

that’s the thing about this movie… with the exception of Christina Ricci… none of these characters really were likeable… I’d use Edward Cullen’s words to describe Heathcliffe from Wuthering Heights “he has no redeeming qualities” 
and the end was very abrupt, given little explanation… the daughter of Kristin Scott Thomas, she’s kinda into him, they spend a night together (where amazingly, nothing happens, he doesn’t even try to touch her)… and her father, who suspects otherwise, says that they have to get married… I’m assuming (after the fact) that this is for family money… her mother is devestated (probably because she wants him)… and it all ends with a wedding…

:sigh: 
dude, I am sorry… but I’m gonna have to throw the book on this one…
people on IMDB kinda wrote that this movie did zero justice to the book it was based on and the fault is on Rob Pattinson… on the contrary, I thought his acting was rather good… but his character was HORRIBLE… 

so from now on, I’m just gonna do the research to make sure these are movie I really want to see…
and I’m thinking that I’m just done with R-rated movies for a while… I’m sure my adverse reaction is God’s way of telling me that I should get out there cuz I might be hormonally peaking…
geesh, this crap usually happens to teenagers… I bypassed that entirely because when I was looking at guys and such, I wasn’t thinking about f#%&ing them… I don’t even feel good about spelling it, I am just spent… what I was looking for the companionship, having a special one to tell me that they thought I was special… just the company aspect of it… 

now that’s all over and done with… 

to this end, I should pat myself on the back for getting it right with RDJ… researching all of his movies and picking the ones that intrigued/interested me the most… 
I didn’t avoid sexual content entirely, but there was only one case where it was too much… despite it being $4 at FYE, used or new, that’s why I don’t need “The Singing Detective” in my movie collection… it’s an interesting story and all that, but there was a little too much sex in it for my tastes

it’s kinda funny how I’m aiming to go into The Black Album soon while I’m on this polarizing subject… because sex is a really pronounced subject matter…
when it comes to Prince, though, it’s almost always in good fun and he handles it with such artistic integrity that it doesn’t bother me… I admire his work for that reason…

the lone exception is “Superfunkycalifragisexy”… which is about how being high on “squirrel meat” makes you want to screw around… it’s kind of an “in-your-face” interpretation… and this past time around, it got uncomfortable at some points with the female moaning in the background…
I’ma thinking… “uh, they don’t sound like they’re enjoying themselves, almost like they’re in pain”

that’ll be an interesting track to tackle for sure… like how can I put it bluntly without making it too degrading to write about something equally, if not more degrading

so far, I have a subtitle for the chapter:
THE ONLY EVIDENCE IN EXISTENCE OF PRINCE’S DARK SIDE

I’d add THAT WE ALMOST DIDN’T HEAR… but that’d make it too long…

hmm… going back to that particular track for a second, I started to wonder… was he inspired to writing it after experimenting with “squirrel meat”?… I mean that’s the only way I can really explain how he made the connection… being huge on this substance makes you horny… 
:spit: I know, that doesn’t come out right, but you get my point…

so that kinda backs up the theory that he made this last second decision to “scrub this mission” because of a bad ecstacy trip… 
I’m going to put together a number of different theories to take up an entire chapter…
I can only see this, as I’d discussed with my fellow purple knight, being a short chapter…

a couple tracks, I’m barely going to cover at all…
like “when 2 r in love”… cuz I’m better off waiting for the Lovesexy album to do that…
and “2 nigs united for west compton”… because it’s an instrumental I routinely zone out on while listening to it…
and “rockhard in a funky place”… because of my aversion to the subject matter…

I could be really callous and say that it’s a commercial for Viagara’s most noteable side-effect… except for the fact that Viagara didn’t come out until the mid 90’s

it’s a funky jam… the music is the most outstanding point… if there IS an outstanding point for me… 
lyrically speaking, it’s about a dude at a party… I kinda picture a dark house where everyone is drinking and doing drugs… kinda socially paralyzed by an erection that refuses to go away… like he’s overwhelming by these beautiful women and can’t seem to put a sentence together cuz another part of his body is doing all the thinking for him
and noting that he hates to say it go to waste, it’s STRONGLY suggested that he plays out the rest of the song taking care of business all by his lonesome…

so other than those road blocks… 
the first 5 (well, minus track 4) tracks will be most of the meat for the 2nd chapter, which is the album discussion…
and to think that in the beginning, I thought I’d only be doing “highlight” tracks on each album… that woulda been nice for albums like this… but I’m too much in the habit of it now to stop

on another note, I was hoping to use this entry to go into “Rock of Ages”… but I’d already went into length already on the other subjects that it would make this entry a little too long…
but at some point, I promise to get into it… 
I mean, the movie isn’t perfect… it’s super cheesy in a lot of points, but it has great music and some good moments…

just a little bit of a preview…
it does cover 80’s music… but it kinda sticks to the “head-banger” genre… rock music in 1987 (although a couple of the tracks were from the wrong time/decade)… I’d say the music is excellent… except that not all of these are what I would call the best of the 80’s… 
I love the decade’s diversity more than anything… although the Linn-drum, Prince, one hit wonders and Tears for Fears makes for good competition… but the overall theme results on the playlist having blinders on…

these aren’t songs I would personally throw out there to describe why I love the decade… some of them are a little overplayed… and for a bunch of them, I can only say “they don’t get me jumping out my seat quite as much as [fill in the blank]”…

and it should be noted that Tom Cruise was freaking awesome in this role… he had me believing without a doubt that he was Stacey Jaxx… he lived and breathed it in a complete transformation… which I hadn’t seen since “Tropic Thunder”… which was a complete transformation… I didn’t know who he was until the credits for crying out loud!
that alone says A LOT 😎

so at some point, I will go to the movie… maybe go through the soundtrack to pick out my favorites and note the ones I don’t care for personally…
one of these days, I swear, I’m gonna go all out on the 80’s… cover a bunch of my favorite songs and explain why I go crazy for them and 80’s music in general… 
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