R.I.P. Cory Monteith (aka Finn Hudson from “Glee”)

I knew this was an entry I had to do… however long or short it will be, how melodramatic, tragic and so on… 

but I wanted to wait a couple days before doing so…

First off, I needed the news to sink in a little bit and secondly, I wanted to find out the cause of death… one less thing to regroup and bring attention to later…

Sunday morning started on a pretty sucky note… few days felt like that…

one thing came to my attention that had me furious. Then was all but extinguished when I got the news about the death of a “Glee” cast-member…

not just any cast member, but one of the biggest stars and reasons behind its success.

I’m still wracking my brain, trying to recall my initial reaction when I heard about Cory’s previous troubles with addiction… I think I was in utter disbelief… someone good looking like him, not to mention how bad it was at such a young age… 

I remember reading a few months ago about him checking himself into rehab and shrugged it off… I felt it was a good decision on his part because he had the foresight to get himself straight. Didn’t think too much of it, thought everything would be fine.

My reaction to the news, I knew was escalated a bit more because the other bit of breaking news… tears of fury turned into tears of sorrow… I rushed online to see about the cause of death, but found nothing… posted my Facebook status and stayed off social media for the next  48 hours… 

Then I got the news today… apparently a combination of heroin and alcohol…
I shudder, gasp, and so on… cuz that drug scares the beezus out of me in general.

I’m still stuck on this evening where I was more or less called an idiot for being so naive about how it happened…
I swear, I never wanna grow up to be as cynical as my parents’ generation when it comes to drugs and celebrities… 

Just because A+B has led to plenty of C in the past, doesn’t mean you have to generalize and dismiss it like these people are a bunch of statistics…
sure, the truth hurts, but that’s not the way I want to remember things or think about things… I want to be beyond that and continue to wonder about how the deadly cocktail came together… although the mere idea of finding out more terrifies me… so right now I kinda feel like I really don’t want to know any more

I’d explain it all like that, but it’s really hard to put into words, even if I’m not stressing out or trying to keep my emotions in check… 
the past few days have felt like having part of me missing

I know I’d made a big deal in the past about people getting eliminated from “American Idol” and other shows before their time, but this feels like more…
because unlike a lot of people who’d passed away “too soon” recently, this was someone who I knew and invested a number of years getting to know their work… 
I only knew Cory through his work on “Glee,” but considering how much that show is like a soap opera or popcorn movie where you invest in the characters and can’t wait to see what happens next, that’s reason enough for me…

Whitney Houston I was a fan of, but I wasn’t avidly into her career as much as the people she inspired
Amy Winehouse, we all kinda dismissed as someone who’d never get their life together (a mistake I more or less swore never to make again with anyone)
Michael Jackson, I’d spent all the time before his death complaining about how much more attention and praise he’d gotten than Prince, but I dove into his music head first and came out with some great stuff… in an effort to just make up for the fact I was dismissive previously

the timing with Cory is kinda eerie as well because I’d been thinking about turning 27 and how a lot of people in the entertainment music haven’t made it past that age… and Lindsay Lohan recently had her 27th birthday and I’m hanging on, hoping that she won’t become another of the Forever 27 club because I know she’s better than that…
even if I’m the only one in her corner by the end of it, that’s my stance
(meanwhile, my PC keeps telling me every couple minutes that it’s low on disc space… nothing I can really do at this point, I know the erroding hard drive already on its last legs)

Cory was 31. So it’s not quite the same, but the fact is we’ve lost another young person too soon… and we’re forced to continue on without him.

Quickly, I want to clarify that this mourning period isn’t because I thought he was super good looking and that’s why I liked him… yes, he is good looking, but c’mon… he’s Finn Hudson, the male lead from “Glee”… the all-American high school QB turned Glee club co-captain… 

not to say Finn was perfect either… 
I think there were moments early on where I didn’t believe he had the best voice… it isn’t always excellent, but it’s certainly passable…
he started in the show dating Quinn Fabray, the captain of the Cheerios… the high school cheerleaders… after joining “Glee” club, sparks have started flying between him and Rachel Berry… and for a while, it was all about “will they or won’t they?”

I thought it was kinda crazy for those two personalities to get together, but when they did, it was even harder when they were apart.
I remember watching the finale where Rachel was going to New York and he breaks up with her… and being completely confused by it… he said he was setting her free to make her dreams come true and all that, I thought it was pretty crazy… but then again, so was the idea of them getting married before graduation… oddly enough, though, I think I was FOR it

it was pre-empted when Quinn, who was Rachel’s maid-of-honor got in a car accident, hit broadside because she was texting and driving… and she LIVED… but she was paralyzed from the waist down for most of that season and somehow got better… seemed like a bit of a cop-out to me… not that it would have been cool to kill off her character either, that’d have been hard…

rumor has it that Finn will be written off the show in being in a fatal car accident… after what happened to Quinn and the fact she survived that, I doubt they could do that twice in a row and have it be believable within the realm of the show
yeah, it would have been hard for Finn and Rachel to get married and then for that to happen… it’ll be hard no matter how they address his death, but recasting Finn is out of the question. As a true-blue Gleek myself, I know we won’t stand for it 

hmm… even more sucky is the fact Finn had only just found his calling and was actively pursuing it…
after taking inventory, I kinda realized he was the Gleek I had the most in common with…
I have some of Rachel’s qualities, at least the ones she had in the earliest shows… being an individual trying to find their place in high school…

but with Finn, I related to his post-graduation story arc, in that he didn’t have a clue what he was going to do… he didn’t want to do football anymore, didn’t think he was smart enough for college, he enrolled in the Army and went AWOL (for whatever reason, I don’t remember), tried to get back together with Rachel and it wasn’t happening, and ended up back at school… where he served as Mr. Schu’s temporary replacement while he went to D.C. to rally for music education in schools…

by the end of it, he kinda realized his calling was teaching, and we last left him with Puck at the local college… 
I have faith in the writers, though, so I’m not too worried about how they’ll resolve things. I just know that they’ll do him justice however they decide.
before making this connection (perhaps a little too late) I felt like I have the most in common with Marley… she’s one of the newbies to the Glee club… a sophomore, I believe… I related to her shyness and wanting her voice to be heard, but not having the courage to back it up… 
but after that, the similarities end… firstly, she has BLUE eyes instead of brown (otherwise we could pass for twins… j/k)… her back story is that her family is poor, her single mom is the cafeteria lady and the new Cheerio captain Kitty (aka the new class bitch) fooled her into believing she was gaining weight and she developed an eating disorder as a result
plus she has the Bella Swan thing going on with two guys who are into her… well, except for the fact they’re not vampires and werewolves… 

the eating disorder felt like a cop-out, an attempt to add more dimensions to her character…

and here I am, still writing this entry an hour later…
I know for a fact that DVD, CD and iTunes sales from “Glee” are going to skyrocket in response to this… so supposing I had an inkling of a desire to pick up season one (something I’d been starting to consider anyway, as I have for some of my other favorite shows), I probably won’t be able to find anything… I don’t own a single bit of media from “Glee”… although there was one point where I considered picking up an album by the Warblers, just cuz I like their melodies and a group, plus it’s more Kurt and Blaine

not surprisngly,a few blogs and sites have posted their favorite Finn moments from the series… I couldn’t think of ANYTHING, lol… just too much material to begin to sift through…
but probably the most memorable is the first rendition of “Don’t stop believin'”… heck, it made me a fan of the song and just cuz I saw it recently (like maybe 6 or so months ago), the episode “Grilled Cheezus” where Finn finds the vision of Jesus in his grilled cheese and is praying with it… meanwhile Kurt’s dad had a heart attack and everyone was trying to pull together for him… the last number Finn did for that show was “Losing my Religion” when he lost faith in Grilled Cheezus… great song, great version… 
although the show-stopper was Kurt’s version of “I wanna hold your hand”… so different from the Beatles version, and so Kurt…

so I guess I’ll end things as such…

hopefully things will get a little better over the next couple days…
and definitely will continue to send well wishes to Lea Michele to give her the strength to get through this difficult time

I know it is super cliché and I still kinda hate it when people who play romantically involved characters date in real life… but this is one of those cases where I probably wouldn’t have it any other way.

…man, “Glee” is such a great show and I hope amidst these dark times it will continue to shine the way it always has, though a little dimmer than before
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