Just as I’m getting into composing my first Plushenko montage for YouTube
(Update: I currently have the first 30 seconds finished of the 4min9sec time I need to fill)…
after the first round of “Snow King” shows have come to an end (I’ve seen some footage, but I’m still waiting to see the whole thing in one video… dare to dream, right?)…
Wounds are reopening from that difficult time this past February.
I’d exhausted this issue almost to death already with my blogging… but unlike “Less than Zero,” this issue is still very fresh in our minds and not yet resolved.
Yesterday, a lot of articles about Plushenko were posted on my Twitter account via one of the people I follow who’s a big fan of his. Most were about the Grand Prix final… despite how I wanted to wait until February 21st to find the results, the results found me.
And I’m very pleased with them. But I’d like to see Yuzuru and Elizaveta skate to victory with my own eyes (and Johnny & Tara’s commentary).
The one on Elizaveta, I could read more than 50% of the text. It was a short article, but it made me feel good that some of my studying of Russian is still relevant and hasn’t yet left my brain.
But there were a few other articles that bothered me. One reason is because the English translation wasn’t 100% clear so some sentences were garbled in the translation.
Another reason was Plushenko’s comment: he regrets trying to compete in the singles’ competition in Sochi, that he didn’t just quit after the team competition.
It’s hard to say what bothered me more: reading him saying that or my reaction to what he said…
because my reaction was very selfish of me.
I said to myself: if you didn’t try to compete and you didn’t injury yourself, I wouldn’t be here
Of course, that’s not entirely true. I began a fan during his free skate for the team competition. And I was extra excited to hear he’d compete again for a solo medal because it’d be yet another chance to see him be amazing.
On February 13th, my heart broke when I saw what bad shape he was in…
I was still thinking about him 5 days later, but I didn’t write my first blog until I had a dream about him.
So I asked myself: would I have gone as far as I have for him if I hadn’t witnessed the injury?
I really want to say no. I want to say that there’s no way I’d have followed his English newsfeed on Twitter, his Twitter account… if I wasn’t so emotional about what happened.
I also couldn’t help thinking about myself at that time… I had very little energy for anything, I didn’t even want to get up in the morning… he gave me something to look forward to… then when the injury happened, I couldn’t wait to get onto my computer and find out what was happening, when his surgery would be and so on…
As I’m recollecting all this, I feel really terrible about it. Because I am making this all about me. Asking myself where I’d be had it not been for his presence in these Sochi Olympics. I have been hard on myself before and one way or another, I always found motivation to stay engaged in my life…
He also said that there wouldn’t be a second back surgery if he hadn’t tried to compete…
that is something I doubt very much. Something was already array during the team competition during his free skate. He felt a “click” in his back and his muscles were sore afterwards. Unless he never skated again with triple axels and quads (something I doubt he could do… because he lives for his skating), the back surgery was unavoidable. The question was just about “when” it would be.
Anyone who’s read any of my entries on Plushenko over this past year, I’m sure would know that I am not selfish about him at all.
Those first couple months, I was worried whenever he talked about competing in the next Olympics. I was thinking he was going too fast to get back on the ice. Every step he took towards getting back into shape terrified me. I wanted nothing more than him to be safe, to be healthy and take as much time as he needed to return to whatever he wants to do with his skating.
He is very handsome and I love his accent when he speaks English… and yeah, I am attracted to him, but I don’t make my feeling about him about that. He’s different from other male celebrities I’d fallen in love with because I don’t daydream about us interacting in a romantic way. Not even in my fanfiction, I always wrote about being an enthused fan that wanted nothing more than his health and happiness. When I watch his skating, when I’m not being emotionally moved by his artistry, I work not to think of him as “eye candy.” I don’t give myself a chance to even look at the tremendous shape he’s in as if I was a woman looking for my ideal mate.
I suppose it is that way because he’s married… happily married… so it’d be wrong to imagine myself in Yana’s place. And it’s also that way because he’s not an actor and I don’t have that option to picture myself with a character he played.
But the biggest reason why it’s different… romantic feelings of any kind (romantic love or lust) would just complicate things in my head. It’s already complicated enough that we’re from different countries 😛
No matter what was going on with me, I always saved a thought for him every night because I grew to care about him a lot. As an athlete and also as a person.
…now, after reading his comments again today, I feel a little different because the focus has shifted somewhat.
He’s now asking his Federation to admit their mistake during the Olympics, that they should have had a back-up skater.
This brings back thoughts I haven’t had since February when I saw his interview with CNN… it feels like forever again. But nonetheless, I remember what he said very clearly because I watched it at least 5 times in those first six months.
My biggest worry was that his country pressured him to compete… and after hearing him talk about it, those thoughts were confirmed. But I also learned that he made the decision to compete because he wanted this for his country and also for himself.
Either way, I was at peace with everything and just wanted him to focus on getting better.
I understand why this has been bothering him. After going through all that pain, I’m sure he’d have wanted it to be for something. But why revisit this? Is it because he’s still facing criticism for his decision to compete and also to withdraw?
I was under the impression that those who doubted him didn’t matter anymore. He knows who his friends and enemies are. And those who don’t support him do not exist for him. (One person in particular, I’ve only written his name down in a comment one time… otherwise, I’ve gone out of my way to not mention him by name. The fact my YouTube page suggests videos of him competing is a constant annoyance because I refuse to do it. If he’s going to do nothing but attack Plushenko, then he’s not worth drawing attention to. Certainly not by name.
Having said that, it’s a relief that Brian Joubert (who, I understand, had criticized him in the past as well) is someone he is now close with (now super close because he’s part of the “Snow King” production as well)…
When I saw his name among the skaters competing in Sochi, even reading it aloud, somehow it sounded familiar to me. But I don’t remember how or why that might be. Perhaps I saw him skate years ago in another competition.
As I’ve said, it’s been 10 months. Why he’s suddenly interested in making these demands of his Federation, I’m not sure. :shrug: But if it’s important to him, of course I will support it. I just hope that it doesn’t cause any political trouble for him or lead them to discredit him or ruin his reputation.
Considering the situation with the other skaters… the story supposedly is that they “couldn’t find” Maxim Kovtun to compete in his place in the solo competition. I also heard a story that he had the flu and wasn’t well enough to compete. The conspiracy remains that they wanted someone with experience and Maxim, despite beating Plushenko in the Russian National championships that season, wasn’t who they needed to win medals.
The issue came up again this past week at the Grand Prix Finale… supposedly, Maxim choked… Sergey Voronov won 3rd place instead… and one tweet balked at this, saying Maxim can’t come through on the big competitions and fools still believe he should have had Plushenko’s place on the Olympic team.
I only have this current season to go by, but Sergey Voronov has impressed me so much. Maxim, I’ve had to watch his programs a second time on YouTube to determine whether I was not engaged because of his lack of finesse or my lack of an attention span.
If Sergey was well enough to compete in Sochi, I’m sure he would have done really well. Given the opportunity, I believe he would have risen to the occasion and at least gotten bronze. Yuzuru is practically a prodigy and Patrick Chan has prestige and experience… heck, if Sergey had a clean program, he could have even gotten 2nd.
As I’m writing this, I got word that Plushenko wants to write a book about his Sochi experience 😛
once the shock wore off (I really hope this won’t change how his Federation feels about him…), now I’m thinking I’d love to read it… even if it’s all in Russian, I’ll work to learn more so I’ll able to translate more of it than I’d be able to do now.